photo shot

The last classroom for my photography class was last night. In a little over a week, we'll have a show night. A collection of 35 to 45 of each students top shots will be organized and set to music. We can invite friends and family and it turns into a party at the studio.

I'm not so excited about my shots. I know what I could shoot. And I see what I have shot. There's nothing wrong with my photos. They just aren't spectacular.

Tonight, I went out with camera, determined to capture some amazing stuff before the final deadline of Friday. Determination wasn't enough. I got a few lovely shots.

Tomorrow, at it again.

The universe at work

Today ends 30 days of daily blogging. How delicious it has been.

I've learned that I really can make time to write each day and that my writing doesn't have to be great to be worth doing.

As the universe would have it, a confluence of circumdtances has me ready to take on writing my novel again. To just do it.

Yesterday's post, the write-up on why I took the The Landmark Forum--wanting to write my novel.

Lat night, I was reading more of The Shack and came upon the lines where God emphasizes that we can do anything standing inside our being part of Him, as co-creators.

Then tonight, listening to the same person who lead my Advanced Course in January. It was there that I created the possibility of being Creativity Powerfully Expressed.

It's time to be that.

My Results

No, not from any medical tests. And not from any kind of entrance exam for yet another degree.

Tonight, I completed a write-up on what I got from my participation in The Introduction Leaders Program. It'll be posted, along with a photo, in the Landmark Education's Newport Beach Center where I've taken a bunch of classes.

I've decided to share it here. Much of it is a re-working of things shared on this blog previously, but it pulls it all together.

Here it is:

A little about me
I teach law, government and economics to high school seniors. I love learning and love being an educator. I adore my Chihuahua, Chocolate, and can’t imagine life without international travel. I’m a Reiki Master/Teacher and an author.

Why I signed up for the Introduction Leaders Program
When I signed up for The Landmark Forum in August 2008, I was looking for a breakthrough in writing a novel and in creating a relationship. What I got was a breakthrough in creating ease and fun in my work as an educator and immense peace of mind. The benefits of The Landmark Forum were great, but I still wanted more. After my Advanced Course, my identity as a loner was falling away, but I still wanted more. The Introduction Leader Program’s promises of Full-Blown Self Expression and Remarkable Contribution appealed to me.

What I got
Between the distinctions covered in the classroom and my experiences assisting at Introductions to The Landmark Forum, I got the promise of Remarkable Contribution. Through assisting friends, family and strangers in registering themselves into The Landmark Forum, I discovered that I stand for love, joy and balance being present in the lives of everyone I know and meet. I began to experience instant relatedness with anyone and everyone. My teaching transformed. I became more related to my students and took on leaving them empowered and present to their own greatness. The quality and initiative in the projects they produced took off.

As a stand for the experience of love and joy, I also got Full-Blown Self Expression. Before the Introduction Leaders Program, I kept the benefits of reiki and energy healing to myself. I didn’t want anyone to think I was weird or silly for promoting energetic balance as a tool for health maintenance. Never mind my own results or what I knew to be possible, before the Introduction Leaders Program I’d only taught reiki to my mom and one friend. Now that I’m unconstrained in sharing myself and what matters to me, I’ve taught it to half my family and nearly all my friends. During the program I declared my commitment to empowering 100 people to take charge of their health through energetic balance before 2009 ends. It is now my business.

As for the results I was looking for in The Landmark Forum…I created the outline to that novel during the program’s first weekend. Come to think of it, that was the same weekend I began the relationship I was looking for when I registered into The Landmark Forum!

Personal transformation manifested for me in every area The Introduction Leaders Program promised. What I got is exactly what I was looking for…and more.


Robin Davis Fesseha

...nothing

sometimes the best thing to say is nothing

So Cal Day

We started the day with coffee at Starbucks. Then to Malibu for a 2pm rendezvous at The Getty Villa.

Arriving over an hour early, Steve and I drove further up the coast. Steve was first to spot the thousands of flags planted at the base of Pepperdine University. It was a memorial to the victims of 9/11. While most of the flags were American, there were flags of other nations to represent the citizenship of all the victims.


I don't doubt that there are still memorial services held in Hawaii's Pearl Harbor on December 7th. On the mainland, however, the day passes without much thought. Perhaps an article buried in the middle of the newspaper at the bottom of the page. Or, more likely, a photograph and caption showing flowers placed at Veteran's Hospital in recognition of the "Day that will live in infamy".

Ten years from now, will there still be a collective memory of 9/11? Either way, there will likely still be a war on terror.

A WAR on terror.

Is that like hating intolerance or killing murderers?

Still Enjoying Fall's Arrival

This morning, when I opened the kitchen shutters onto the small deck, there were clouds in the sky and a faint wetness on the wood. Soon enough I'll open the shutters and see full blown rain bathing the wood and plants. I can hardly wait for winter.

This afternoon, I walked out onto the small deck and sat in the papasan chair. It was warm and sunny. Chocolate sniffed at the air, smelling which friends were out walking. I sipped my chai with a barely read newspaper at my side.

This evening, when I moved the kitchen shutters and stepped out onto the small deck to water the plants, I remembered that this is the time of year to order solar Christmas lights if I want to have them here by December.

Three years ago I balked at $100 for solar lights. Five years from now they'll have paid for themselves. Makes sense to use the sun's light to celebrate the end of shorter days and the coming of The Light.


_________

I missed my post last night. The second glitch in my plan to blog for 30 days. I had such a full day. It was the Friday of the first week of school. After wards to the airport for a pick-up and then straight to class. The last classroom for an intense course on leadership that I've benefited from greatly. It was an ending. From there twenty steps to a different classroom where I am now coaching participants who have just started the same course I that night completed. It was 10:40pm and I knew I wouldn't be home by midnight. Committed to not missing a day, I blogged from my phone. Not an Iphone. Not a Blackberry, either. I've had a Palm for years and years and now have a Centro. I guess I shouldn't make it their fault that I couldn't get my post to post. All I know is that I pressed publish but nothing showed up and there's no draft to be found anywhere. I've decided to be OK with knowing that I did in fact blog yesterday, but that I nonetheless have an interrupted 30 days of posting.

Commi

Carried Away

"He had already been perched precariously on the precipice of emotion..." The Shack, WM. Paul Young.

I am beginning to recognize the work of certain muses. There is a zone that writer's enter into, swept in by a story, thought or idea. Until now, I thought we entered alone into this other dimension where words dance and play and dare.

Now, I know that we are escorted there by unseen helpers. Authors from the other side, perhaps. What I know is that when I got to a certain set of pages in The Shack, I recognized the zone, recognized the writing.

I'm not saying it's better than sex, I'm just saying that it is quite the magical ride and rollercoaster when the writing takes over and the words dance you.

Perched precariously on the precipice of emotion.

Access to Healing

I'm working my way to 100. This afternoon, one of my aunt's came over to receive reiki.

What a difference it makes when we commit to something, declare it. The more often I share with friends, family and acquaintances alike that I'm committed to offering reiki as a tool for self-healing to 100 people before the year 2009 ends, the more action I take.

On the walk we enjoyed together last Saturday, my aunt shared the pain she's been in due to arthritis. The pain is so intense that it interferes with sleep. As soon as she shared her ongoing pain and discomfort, I suggested reiki. She knew that a cousin and my mother had received health benefits after I shared it with them. Plus, there was a Thanksgiving afternoon when I applied reiki energy to her back and it made it a difference. She didn't need a lot of convincing.

Today she came over after work. It was my only free evening and I was glad to do it.

Each time I do an attunement, I share the benefits I received from my own work with reiki. And each time, I am reminded of the potential to alter the experience others have of their lives.

More power, peace, health and balance.

The Flow of Energy

I've been sensitive to energy for as long as I can remember. Things feel a certain way right off the bat--comfortable, chaotic, eerie, relaxing, intense or whatever. The cause isn't always obvious, but I definitely pick up the vibes of people, places and things. Not just the things themselves but their placement and synergy.
We're in a new home, a new campus just thrown together in the last year specifically for us--fourteen teachers another eight staff and three hundred students.

I'm in a new classroom. Over the years, I've moved into several new classrooms. Such a small school as ours is picked up and moved a bit too conveniently. The expectation is that our school has finally landed a semi-permanent home which is a step up from the temporary varieties we've shuffled in and out of over the last eight years.

With each new classroom is a new opportunity to create an idyllic space. Idyllic is different for every teacher. For me, it includes clouds and Caribbean scenes blending into the posted visual aids, announcements, maps and message posters. I've even put up clouds filtering florescent lights.

With each new classroom there is a new challenge to create a space where energy flows. Shamelessly, I'll admit that not only do I consult feng shui principles, but I rely most heavily on Feng Shui for Dummies. May sound a little cheesy, but it seems to enhance my sense of peace.

Sometimes it seems a little silly to spend so much time adhering to principles I don't claim to fully understand or believe. Yet, being sensitive to energy, I have found that using the tips and hints helps me find my sweet spot.

Where on earth is the best position for my desk. Not in front of the air conditioner vent. Not too close to the many student computer drops and all their electromagnetic emissions. Certainly not directly in the path of the doorway nor in any position that doesn't give me direct sight to the door. My back can't be toward the students or a large looming window. And that's just the desk.


After more than six days setting up bookcases, computers, odds, ends, media and so on, I found it, my sweet spot.

I know I've found it when I glance around the room with a few nods of satisfaction followed by a deep, lingering inhale and exhale. Bliss! The energy flows.

When my wooden desk, the students desks, posters, bookcases, computers, microwave, refrigerator, videos, crystals, coat rack, bulletin board and every little thing are placed just so, I sense energy flowing circularly through the room at a gentle, steady pace.

At 2:20pm, I felt that. At 2:22pm, I went to the office to pick up my classroom keys for the next school year. It was now MY room.

Tomorrow the students arrive. It'll still be MY room. I'll welcome them into OUR oasis of discovery and conversation.

Just figured out why I love teaching.

The flow of energy in my classroom is an invisible animate creature that coaxes the best out of me and my students.

All day I have the pleasure of dancing with energy. Each class, each unique combination of students assembled creates their own harmony of voices, thoughts, blues, bliss and hues. I move in and out of their concerns, their interests, their needs and their potential.

The flow of energy inspires bliss...daily.

Tomorrow...no longer a day away

Twelve hours from now, I'll be back in my classroom. There will be no students until 35 hours from now.

Twelve hours from now, I'll have seen nearly all the teachers I last saw three months ago and see again the handful who've been on campus same time as me to get their classrooms ready.

Twelve short hours from now the traditional calendar 2009-10 school year officially begins.

Twelve minutes from now I'll be toasting the beginning of a fall that promises more wonder, surprise and fulfillment than I can imagine.

Fall Leaves

It is officially fall. Fall leaves are all around. Seems a little early. Only September 6th?

This is my 2nd fall with Chocolate.

Falling in love with Chocolate all over again.

Pleasure in the Mundane

There are some days, at the end of which, you feel delighted and proud. This is one of those days. There was pleasure in the entire experience, each moment.

The day was filled with extraordinary events that are extra ordinary in nature. Among my favorites was the choice to spend $5 on a chai tea and enjoy the newspaper outdoors sitting on a couch during the noon hour. It was warm, peaceful. Like being god of my world and ordering up the perfect temperature, interesting news stories, perfect soy chai, right amount of shade, minimum distractions and a clean, comfy couch to enjoy it all on. It wasn't my seat at the outer table on Provo island (the scene pictured at left on blog, but it felt just as idealic.

Then there was the cleaning of the washing machine and dryer. Since when is that fun or interesting? It was. The freedom to care enough, to have time enough and to know with great certainty that the wiping away of dust and gunk has a qualitative impact on the quality of my life. Really! The difference it makes to our subconscious whether our dirty clothes are plopped into an unclean or pristine washing machine. I even moved the wipe in and out of the hard-to-reach crevice where the lid rotates up and down. It was an exhibition of personal power and celebration of my freedom to create the context of my world.

Too drunk on delight? I think it has to do with the fact that school starts next week. Teachers back on Tuesday, kids back on Wednesday. This is the final weekend of a carefree summer. My last Saturday that isn't sandwiched between working Friday and Monday for some time. That's a large part of what made wiping down every nook and cranny of the washing machine such a joy.

Not one singularly spectacular event or achievement all day. Instead, an entire day of perfect peace because I chose each activity in each moment, including the choice to find it profoundly enjoyable.

I'm nearing the end of days that are entirely of my choosing. How'd I spend one of the precious few that remain?

8:30am Walk Chocolate
9:05am Meet my sister and aunt at my Mom's
The four of us walk at a regional park and then sit around and talk a while.
11:00am Go to bank and pick-up some cash. Wait in a line while listening to music.
11:20am Order a chai tea at Starbucks and sit on an outdoor couch in the shade reading the newspaper
Noon Call an old friend and catch up, still outdoors in the shade
1:00pm Coaching call to one of my four coach-ees.
2:00pm Leisurely, thorough cleaning around the house.
5:30pm Walk Chocolate
6:15pm Clean decks, water plants
8:00pm Get in Sauna. Inside, read a little of both Shock Syndrome and The Shack
9:00pm Talk with sis
9:30pm Talk with sweetheart
10:30pm Snack
11:00pm Blog

I'm sure starting the day with a walk with family around one of my favorite parks help set the tone. I can't remember the last time we all got together for a casual walk and talk. Four females sitting in peace and comfort content to hear what was on the minds of each. More love. A day seeded with love has to sprout magical moments.

Even I, fan of bliss that I am, end the day bewildered by the excess.

Empowerment

Back in 1994, I read that year's edition of What Color is Your Parachute (Bolles). I did each of the exercises, plus the bonus points for actually creating a flower of my ideal career: Empowerment.

The funny and slightly disappointing aspect was that while it was clear I wanted to create and edit materials that I used to supplement my speaking about empowerment, the topic, the vehicle, was missing. No area was identified. It wasn't empowerment through medicine, or education or nutrition or financial freedom. Just empowerment! All kinds of people, all ages, all types of background.

Between my experience with my first paid reiki attunement and a conversation with someone I'm coaching this morning, I figured out that what has me prefer giving attunements over doing healing sessions, is that I seek to empower more than heal. I want others to have the ability to balance their own energy, to stop an unnecessary ache and so on. It's my goal that each person who receives an attunement from me is able to take greater charge of their health and their circumstances.

When I think of it as just about giving attunements, or "selling" reiki, I am not as motivated. I got no interest in selling anything. None. But when I remember that my motivation is empowerment, I get inspired.

I declared last month that I intend to cause 100 attunements by the time 2009 ends. I've got a lot to do to make that happen. When I think of doing 100 or selling 100, little action is taken.

When I think of empowering 100 people to take charge of their health, I make things happen.

I am empowered.

reading and writing, wondering and living

In search of something, anything to write on day 18 of 30 days of daily blogging, I visually scanned titles on six book cases that line the walls of my "pink room" aka my "study" or my guest room. The fiction totals about five of twenty-six shelves. From Dostoevsky to McMillan (How Stella Got Her Groove Back). More than half the fiction is the result of college or post-graduate reading lists or super-cheap classics. The non-fiction ranges from religion to astrology, feng shui to cooking, finances to relationships, self-help to philosophy. Surely, something there, some insight, some treasure. I just need a little inspiration!

I've never contemplated all the words, the ideas, the lies and the stories I've exposed myself to over the years. That it informs what I believe. Just as it opens me to worlds, imaginings and avenues of action, it also, inadvertently, creates unacknowledged, imperceptible limits on my imaginings.

Which makes me wonder about the written books I haven't read. All the ideas I know nothing about and the lies and the stories that are alien to my view. In some cases I've spared myself, in others I've denied myself something delicious, inviting or enhancing.

Then there are all the conversations, the tales, the advice and admonitions. All the spoken words from people, from television, from radio, from eavesdropping, from being soothed.

Woven together from all that I've read, all that I've heard, is a unique filter coloring how I see and experience my world.


All those things no one ever told me, no one ever shared. Bad advice I've been denied the pleasure of ignoring and good advice that isn't adding more variety, spice, joy or love to my life.

It's worth considering that our world is built from the blocks of what we see and hear, what we read and listen. And after all that consideration, in the end...I have the books I have. I heard the things I've heard. I've lived the life I've lived.

And all that I've read and heard and lived tells me I can create whatever I want tomorrow.

I'm creating adventure.
Funny, I don't own a lot of lot adventure books. I lived it, but rarely taken time to read someone else's version of it.

Why?

Why do we seek purpose in our lives?
Why does life seem so real?
Why does life seem like a dream sometimes?
Why don't we know all the answers?
Why don't we know if there are aliens or not?
Why do we die?
Why do we question existence?
Why are we all different?
If God exists, why doesn't He make it plain and just say so?
Why do we have the same concerns and issues?
Why does it matter?
Why do we want something else when we get what we want?


"Why are there no answers to all the why questions in life?"

--The young woman I attuned this evening was full of questions and was so fun about it. The last question is the last question she playfully asked.

Reflecting Light

"You can't see light, unless it hits something."

That's what our instructor said in photography class. I'd never thought about it before, not that way. It's true. The spectrum of light is only made visible when it bounces off particles in the air or physical objects.

You can't capture it really, either. It moves and it hits something and we see it, recognize both it and whatever reflects its glory.

Makes me think of the value and function of human beings, mountains, seas and every glorious thing in our world. We can only see it in relation to how the light interacts with it.

How does the light interact with you? What is made visible? What stays in the shadows or casts shadows?

I reflect God's light. It lands on me and bounces out into the world. Radiant!

Other times, I've been caught sucking God's light in like a black hole and not allowing anything to come out. Black holes serve some function we don't understand.

More and more, I let God's light hit me so that others may see.