"In this moment, I can say that what would make me feel like I've done my job on earth is if I mastered an understanding of the interrelatedness of the 12 dimensions; the ways and means of how crystals, Reiki and other alternative energy healing techniques work; past lives...etc., etc..."

I wrote that on Wednesday, March 28, 2007.

Bold, huh?
It comes to mind again today.

I'm fasting. Again.

Usually, I have something I want and then I turn in and "hear" when and what to fast along with prayer to make something happen. Kinda like a prescription. "God, I'd like a new home...huh?...fast, you say....fast for ten Fridays? done." And then, voila...a home! Not kidding!

Except, there's this other thing that happens when I fast. I lose weight. Sure one of the two pounds is back the next day, but when done week after week, versus when I don't do it week after week...fasting one day a week (water and tea only for 24-30 hours, gets long term results).

So the last couple weeks, post New Year's resolutions, I decide I just want to take on fasting for the weight management aspect. But I can't. I can't just fast and not pray, too.

Only, there's nothing I'm motivated to ask for. Go figure. Not saying I got all I could ever want, but there's nothing I'm moved to ask for just to be asking for something. My experience is that you'll be allowed to get it. It's just that when you ask, in my experience mind you, God hands it to you. When you grab hold, it's yours. The price tag, though, is underneath.

"God, I'd like a relationship that works."
"No problem. Fast 20 Mondays."
I'll tell you this. When you fast and pray. You really are in a space to confront yourself and hear God's voice.
And, yes, I'm very much in love with Mr. 20 Mondays. Thank you, God!!!

When I can't think of anything I want, I decide to dedicate my fast. I dedicated my last one to Mr. 20 Mondays, aka Steve. My prayers for him were answered.

This morning, I decided to do something new again. This time I asked God what I should pray for. Boy oh boy. Wasn't expecting it, but how did I not? He suggested praying for the world.

"The whole world???!"

Long story still longer, I did. But it was confronting. I had to confront that deep down, or maybe not even so deep, I didn't really think the world could work. Cynical? Just a bit. People never learn, governments always do the wrong thing, and love rarely triumphs. I didn't realize just how jaded I was. I knew I was jaded. Just didn't see how much so.

A day of prayer for planet earth.

Those books I'm always talking about writing. I'd forgotten that it was an opportunity to fulfill on my own fulfillment.

I'd forgotten that it was worth writing because what matters to me is worth sharing. It's worth sharing because the world is worth healing.

I'd forgotten that God loves this world, whether I do or not.

And I'd forgotten I love it too! The whole of it. It's imperfect governments, its irresponsible but still-striving human beings. It's easy to love dolphins, whales, mountains, wind and sea. Easy to love double rainbow days, buzzing bees, sunsets and even super-early sunrises. Harder to love the presence of hate, ignorance, greed and intolerance.

Fasting and praying for the whole world forced me to imagine a world that works. I imagined the world the way God knows it could it be. A world that works. A world of love.