Speaking of Dreams

I've noted once or twice that I want to move to a Caribbean island, yes? I've also lamented my desire for security and my being very keen on continuing to contribute to my current pension system.

And for my birthday...last week a friend of mine shared her intention to go teach in Europe over the next few years. In fact, she'd shared this with me and another teacher over lunch a few months ago. After moving just two years ago to a teaching gig with great pay, circumstances have her back in the job market again. This time, she's considering all her options. Instead of chasing the money, she's going after her truest desires. So, she's applying for gigs overseas.

I remarked that it sounded fantastic and that I marveled at her ability to give up adding more years into the teacher pension system. We're decades in to one of the few pensions with a half-decent chance of surviving the economic upheaval.

She went on to say that she wasn't giving up a thing. The international school program she'll go through let's her keep adding up the years of credit to our same system.

Tears came to my eyes. I sat down my rootbeer to compose myself. You'd think I'd been told I was the winner of one billion dollars. No, not a million, not a hundred million. I was beyond choked up.

The single biggest obstacle to an immediate relocation to the islands was washed aside in one sentence. That was the day after I signed up for the Landmark Forum. That was the day after hearing that life has a funny way of responding to our commitment to our future, that for a lot of people, the moment they commit to the workshop, new possibilities start appearing before they even sit down for the first session. In the prior blog, I mention being spontaneous. I signed up for the workshop on a Wednesday evening. I had lunch with this friend on Thursday. I attended the three-day workshop that Friday. Today is a week later.

I just went to the international school site to see where they have sites--US Virgin Islands, Cuba, Cayman Islands, St. Kitts to name the ones I saw first.

When people have asked which island do you want to move to, I never know. I can tell you which I've been to that I liked, and which I didn't like so much. Loved Providenciales, Turks and Caicos, loved Grenada. Didn't like St. Thomas--too American, too tourist-driven.

Within the last week, as I've mentioned this new possibility for making my dreams come true sooner than later to anyone who'll listen, I've heard time and again that many people who get into this only stay at a given location for a couple years and then move someplace new. Imagine: I start in the Caymans, I do a stint on St. Kitts. Five or ten years later, I'm completely clear on which location feels most like home. Or maybe I come right back to my home here in Southern California feeling complete, feeling like I've had the experiences I needed.

The best part about it all. Unlike years past, when I might have jumped right in, I'm willing to give it due consideration. Actually, I think the truth is that I don't want to move in Fall 2009. The earliest I'd want to relocate is Fall 2010. Options, options.

And one more note on the way things have shifted for me. On the last night of the seminar, a guy sitting in front of me turns around and says, "I can see your passion for the book you're writing. I used to work in the industry. I don't do that kind of PR work anymore, but I'd love to sit down with you for a cup of coffee and help you plan it out, create a proposal, create what will appeal to publishers and can sell rather than you writing it first and then trying to figure out how to market it." His girlfriend was right there. He's really talking about my book.

I couldn't believe it. In a space of just four days, new routes to dreams coming true are walking into my life. Pretty soon I hope to experience Life banging at my door begging me to just say yes to my wildest dreams coming true. I can see it.

There was a spider plant at my front door that was in need of attention. It was sun-scorched and in need of being transplanted and tended. Well, I cleaned up half the plants at my doorstep. I'll take the soil out of the car and tend to the rest of the plants at the door and on my desks by weekend's end.

What accounts for all the change, and the new openings? Is it Feng Shui? Three weeks ago, I bought a new bed. My old one was bad Feng Shu--metal, bars, obtrusive. Not conducive to the flow of chi. My bedroom is in the wealth corner of my home for those of you into that stuff. I also bought some bamboo plants. I used to have them all over my place. I had them around when I wrote and finished Thirteen. Not that I want to be superstitious about it all. Maybe my chi is flowing smoother.

Reiki? I recently started practicing the self-treatments again. I'd stopped. If it doesn't explain the outer changes, perhaps it at least contributes to the energy and mental clarity for blogging again.

Crystals? I've moved these around too. After the new nightstands, I ended up moving them all around throughout my home in new combinations and a few to different rooms. A couple nights ago, I switched around what's in my pillow--no more peridot and charoite, now moldavite and rainbow obsidian.

If you can't buy the feng shui, reiki or crystals, how about my participation in the Landmark Forum? Or maybe it's just the momentum of a new birthday? Could even be just the rhythm of my life. How about ascribing credit to the Gratitude Journal I bought the Monday before the Wednesday before the Friday before my birthday?

Seeing it all here in front of me...I guess it's just who I am, what I do: Always looking for ways to experience more, better and share that possibility with anyone who'll listen.

I blog about it, brag about it, because I believe it is possible for everyone on the planet to be happier, more fulfilled. I share what I do and what seems to work in the hope that friends, family, loved one's or strangers might be inspired. Not necessarily to try what I've tried, just to keep trying.

Besides, someone shared Feng Shui, Reiki, Crystals, Landmark, gratitude journals and on and on with me. (Thanks Angie)

Loving 42

Yesterday a friend asked how I was feeling about my birthday. She remembers the drama when I turned 35. I was no longer able to mark the "24-35" category. I was now obliged to check "35-44" and for some reason that more than anything meant middle age. Hot flashes followed within a few years, so I'd say the mid-life crisis complete with birthday sobbing on my 35th birthday was not entirely premature. Turning 40 was no big deal. Neither was this 42nd birthday. If history is any indication, I'd better plan something spectacular for 45 when I jump to the "45 to 54" category.

My response to my friend yesterday was that I feel like a sixteen- or seventeen-year-old. I feel like I've been spending the last few years getting ready to graduate. And I am in the confident, expectant place where the future holds open all possibilities. There's anxiety too. Well, not so much anxiety as a sense of being clueless about what lies ahead. Sure, I've got dreams and goals and watered down versions of "plans", but I'm really very close to the same place I was in the summer of 1983, the summer before my senior year of high school.

I knew I was going to college. A given. But where??? Probably UCLA. I was absolutely certain I would continue my love of math and science and become some kind of engineer. That was the thing in 1980's. If you were African-American and loved math and science, the engineering programs courted you.

In the end spontaneous decision-making sealed my fate. A friend of my mom's who heard I'd gotten in to Stanford insisted I had to go there. It would be stupid not to go there, he implied, forget UC Berkeley. Not a fan of being called stupid...When I got to Stanford and struggled in calculus, I was so delighted over my first and easiest college "A" that I switched my major to sociology so I could get more of that good feeling and less of the one that made me feel like a loser. In retrospect, I just didn't know much about discipline, sacrifice or nitty-gritty knuckle-down studying.

Impromptu. Spontaneous. I've so often made life-changing decisions based on a whim, a feeling. It hasn't been "wrong" and my life hasn't been terrible. I'm planning to experiment with choosing instead of just deciding. Not UCLA or Stanford, not what I expected to do versus what someone else says is better. This time I'm going into "senior year" with a real sense of Self. I've got an interest in choosing what I want from the field of all possibilities.

I took the Landmark Forum last weekend. It changed my entire perspective on life, on my life. That's a second entry coming soon. I'll be taking the next course in their series in November and will be attending a weekly seminar over the next few months as well. The seminar is on commitment. I can't wait to apply it to my Luzca book, to relationships...a wide open second act.

A huge thanks to all the wonderful well-wishing I received. Blessings!