BQMGDZ

That was my confirmation. I mean that literally. That was my confirmation for my trip to paradise, to heaven on earth. My blue dream, Turks and Caicos' Provo island vacation. BQMGDZ was the airline confirmation code. I did a double-take when I went looking for it to request an upgrade.

As noted in my last blog entry it's my goal to get some sort of outline for my book while I'm here. I find myself so easily distracted. Some might say it's the work of the devil to keep me from my true task. It's just the ego seeking to avoid any kind of work.

BQMGDZ

Well, I have to be honest here. I was going to write all kinds of other things instead of what is really on my mind. I am in the midst of watching some of my more earthly desires pass away. I'm torn about it. It feels like leaving the world behind.

Or maybe this too is some devilish distraction, a form of procrastination. Make this about larger issues of good versus evil instead of just working on this book.

I bought a book entitled something like The Tipping Point. Very informative and interesting. The guy next to me on the plane asked how I like it. He's read it twice, finds it valuable in terms of being more effective as a marketer of his business. We talk a while. I note that I meet the requirement of "maven" more than the books description of "connector" or "salesperson."

"Oh, an authority."
"I guess so. I'm a teacher and an author."

I introduced myself as an author. It's certainly not the first time I've told someone I wrote a book or that I even referenced myself an author. It was different, though. There was something in the way I said so...authoritatively, so certainly, so convincingly, so much a part of my identity. It was new to own it that way.

I'm an author. I'm here to work on my next book. And it isn't about how many people eventually read it. It is about getting onto paper the the underlying ideas.

Finally, that tipping point has been reached for me. The process is just as important as the result. The book has begun to breath. A few weeks back I dreamt of being pregnant. The tipping point is that this life, this book, will only die if aborted. I can't judge what others do with the gifts of life presented to them, but for myself, abortion is not an option.

With that said, I'm leaving this internet cafe. I'm heading back down Grace Bay beach and to my room where the outlines and sketches await me. I'll turn on the computer and I'll do what I can. I'll get something written.

I'll BQMGDZ. I'll nurture this little life until it can stand on its own, exist on its own. And then I'll send it into the world infused with all the love I am capable of bestowing upon it.