A Mother's Day letter

I just wanted to take a few moments to tell you that your question has really got me thinking. You asked me how it is I am always smiling, always happy.

First, thank you for the compliment, thank you for noticing, and thank you for inquiring about it. I meant it when I said my kids have recently been asking me the same thing.

A couple of months ago, when I was still taking anti-depressants, I’d have probably said they were the reason.

Recently, though, like I’d mentioned a visit ago, I got into energy healing—Reiki healing, Pranic Energy Healing, and my favorite, the use and wearing of crystals. I credit these and my continuing relationship to God with the decision to get off the anti-depressants finally and alcohol and the smoking on occasion after Mr. T and I broke up.

Soon after I got off the medications is about the time I started hearing people ask me about being happy most of the time.

If I had to list a bunch of reasons that, except for the first, are in no particular order:
 Meditation and constantly talking to God
 No medications
 Very little alcohol
 Not the least of my joy is working with my crystals
 Having a core group of friends that have stayed with me, through all my changes of name, views, ideas, careers and lovers for over a dozen years
 Fasting periodically
 Walking 3-5 times a week
 A job around teenagers…all of whom I love and who keep me young at heart
 Not taking my job too seriously (anymore)
 Reading lots of books to help me understand God better, the universe better, myself better and others better
 Not having to worry about my family
--Like cousin said, “She don’t have kids, that's why.”
--No love-depleted other to foolishly believe I can fill-up
--Staying out of the larger family drama when it comes up
--Living in a quiet home with plenty of time to think
--Having been blessed with a mostly healthy extended family
 Knowing that I live a really blessed life
 Remembering, at least occasionally, the contrast that most people on the planet live relative to my comfort, freedom and options, let alone basic needs met
 The mental, emotional, spiritual and financial freedom to experiment in my life and with my life
 Traveling to expand my views and perspectives
 Being too clueless to know I should be afraid of new things
 A grandmother that loves me the very best she knows how
 A mother who deals with my ever-changing self the very best she knows how
 A sister who surprises me with new insights and who knows me better than I know myself…but doesn’t use it against me
 A really good chiropractor to align my spine when it needs it
 A dear, dear friend who challenges me at every turn and keeps me growing…and who works hard himself at understanding others, even me
 The inability to learn that love is about hardship, suffering or pain


In sum, I’m happy most of the time because I work at it.


Or is that I’m just always happy to see you?
Well, if I know the woman who modeled self-determination for me, you already answered, “Well, now that’s true too .”