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(The following is a slightly edited email to a friend about an elestial/skeletal quartz I purchased a week ago Saturday. It is, in part, the source of renewed energy to write again, to blog again. When I saw it...well, here's the story)
I bought this new crystal yesterday (Aug. 11th). I was drawn to it. Well, not exactly. I went to the fair with the intention of purchasing a citrine and the one I want to give you guys for up North.
I had been thinking about this one vendor from the moment I'd decided to go definitely go to this particular fair. The gem fairs are basically a huge flea market of vendors. Since last October I practically go to each fair that comes to Southern California--almost once a month. At this point, I've gone to at least 6, maybe 8, and recognize many of the vendors. Some of them recognize me. A few admit to recognizing me.
For the entire week, I've had in mind this particular citrine that one vendor displayed. It was simply too expensive for me when I saw it. If I remember the price correctly, it still is. But I wanted to see if he still had it. I was thinking about that crystal like it was the one that got away.
And it did. It got away.
Another, very, very similar one stood out, with the added quality of being affordable. I'm in love with this one too. It is right now sitting on the foyer table. Exactly where I fantasized putting the one that got away. Well, not exactly. I also imagined that one on a new dining room set. I had to look over and smile it jus now. I didn't settle. I was obedient. It took the one that got away to draw me to the one that was meant for my home. I needed to dream about the one I had seen to open myself to this one.
Anyway...back to obedience.
After I picked up the citrines for me and the amethyst for you guys, had paid for them and he was wrapping them up, I still didn't feel "done." I asked him to hold my stuff for me so I could walk the floor and see if there was something else. I made the rounds and not even a desire or inkling to handle anything else. I swept down and through the aisles so fast, I was amazed at my certainty. I knew there was something left to purchase, but I couldn't deny that it wasn't at any other vendors.
Even before I'd paid for my purchases, I kept wandering around Luis' booth. That's the vendor's name. His card says "Luis and Gloria..." Makes sense we were sympatico. I'm starting to wonder if I should just screen people "do you have a Gloria for a mother or wife? If yes, please call, we'll get along easily."
He smiled when he saw me coming and commented, "you changed your hair." I was surprised he remembered me. Then again, he always has the best selection, so I always spend more than just a passing moment at his booth. And then he followed the comment with a little lip smack and a sigh that hinted at being a bit let down. "Well, I can see your face better." As if that were the only redeeming quality of the new do.
"Thanks a lot. Well, thank you...sorta." It was fun. The curls were indeed a bit tight. Guess we're old friends. I appreciated the honesty. Talk about ensuring a sale.
I kept touching everything, asking about everything, I had a nagging feeling that there was something I was supposed to take home. Couldn't figure it out. That's when I went walking around the rest of the fair. As I walked back, Luis gave a quizzical shoulder raise to see if I'd found anything. I suppose he knows he's got the best stuff of the fair. As I walked toward him, I just waived him off to say, "Nothing. Waste of time."
When I was back at his booth, I was finally able to speak my truth. There was some other stone calling to me and I couldn't tell which one. I sat down in one of his chairs and actually had to ask for higher guidance to give me directions to the right stone.
In case you ever wondered about the degrees of intuitiveness. I was able to figure out that I couldn't leave without it, but there were too many energies melding and blending for me to discern for myself. I imagine if I were you (my highly intuitive friend) I'd have just gone straight to it.
Actually, glad I'm telling the story. I only used that method of asking directions after Luis tried being helpful and asked "is it an amethyst?" "No." "Is it elestial?" Well, it isn't not elestial.
That's when I realized we could play 40 questions all day, and, if I'm gonna use 40 questions instead of just relaxing with it, then I might as well do 40 questions on my own head and cut out the middleman. So I did. Are you on the table or on the platform above it? Are you on the left half or the right half? Before or after the round crystal...? In front of or behind....
And when I got the answer and walked over to it. I looked down and thought, "you???" I tried acting stupid, dumb. As if suddenly my higher guidance wasn't reliable. Suddenly, I couldn't trust myself. "In front of the ball?" I asked again anyway. As if the certainty I had before I walked over and saw it was void and no good just because it didn't look like the kind I like to buy.
I doubted. For a minute. For a few seconds.
No denying it. I bought it. No doubt, the appearance was one of the reasons it was a rather inexpensive piece from that collection. Let's just say, it wasn't conventionally appealing. If it were a woman, it would be like taking home the one your friends are gonna make fun of behind your back. It's shaped like one of those early versions of the pushbutton phone with the square face on a traditional angled body with the receiver fitting across the back, top.
And the best part of all: the confirmation! When I got over myself and looked beyond it's physical form, it initially looked less like a phone and more, on first impressions, like a stone replica of an old-fashioned typewriter. The first words out of my mouth when Luis gave me a look that asked "Are you sure it's this one?" was "Oh, this one's gonna help me with my writing."
I cleaned it, sat in the sun for the day and brought it back in the house around 9:00pm. I was finally feeling a little better, too.
As soon as I brought it in the house, I just held it to my chest. It felt so good, resonant, touch. I guess I do have a need for touch. Actually, that's no surprise. In this moment I can appreciate that what's going on is that I had an unhealthy version of the need to touch with sex and drugs and that what feels at the moment like not needing/wanting human touch is just me re-calibrating to healthy forms of getting that need met and people are a bit further down the road...after I've cleaned up a bit more. Good to know.
This stone felt so good. Kinda like the way I related to the palm tree I wrote about months back. That's the one, by the way that is now in the living room and next to where I intend to sit this stone. And yes the stone is right next to my computer as I type. Better than a dog that licks your face and leaves a mess or chews shoes, but just as affectionate and loyal and loving in energy.
"Are you sure it's this one?"
"Oh, this one's gonna help me with my writing."
And one week later, here I am.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Oh how long it's been
Truly. Over a month.
Finally, I've achieved a bit of breathing space. Adding to all the cleaning I've been doing over the year, the Buick is now gone, sold at auction last Friday. No details forthcoming since the only point is that it took an entire year after the convertible to feel entirely comfortable with it and secure enough that I didn't feel the need to hold on to the old energy of the old car.
That following Saturday, yesterday, I had my carpets cleaned. Oh the joy. I'd forgotten the true beautiful color of my carpet. It looks like new. Sadly, I'd evidently let quite a bit of dirt build up before coming clean. So like the energy work I'm doing. So like how much gunk I allowed to build up on my energy body before I got down and dirty and decided to clear out old useless and grimy impediments to letting my light shine fully in the world.
With all that cleaning going on, I also needed to take some time to just rest in it. To allow the change in energy to settle into my being.
It's done that, so now to the topic that got me back on blog.
I just watched Butterfly Effect. Powerful impact on me. I love the darkside of movies. It's sci-fi. The main character, Ashton Kutcher's character, has stumbled upon the ability to go back and time and change the past in the hopes of effecting a desired change upon his future. Well, not just his future. He wants to change the future for him and the girl he loves.
So, no matter what he does, like any decent feature length film requires, he and the girl never end up happily ever after.
Back to that in a moment.
I also just recently finished reading Mary Shelly's Frankenstein. Nevermind the movies based around it, the book is a good read. I related to the characters immensely. The seething loaners drawn to the arcane knowledge, adventure and lofty goals too fantastic for the average Joe.
As the book winds down to its endind, the hideous, murderous creature comes aboard a ship in the middle of the arctic ocean. On this ship is the dead body of his creator, Frankenstein, who has just told his tale of fantastic horror to the loaner adventurer who at books beginning longed to have a friend, a companion. The Adventurer, Mr. Walton, had hoped that Frankenstein might become that friend.
But that was not to be. Like I said, he dies.
We have learned by the end that the created being, this loathed being, only turned to murder, as it is conveyed, because when he sought out love, at every turn, he was rejected. No matter the goodness in his heart, no matter his doing the greatest of deeds for nothing more than approval and acceptance and a sense of belonging, his fate was to be shunned because of his hideousness.
By the way, if you have not read the book, he is a most eloquent monster.
When the monster comes on board to mourn the passing of his creator, he engages in a conversation of great remorse to Mr. Walton, the loaner longing for a friend. The loaner who is about to have to turn away from his dream of traveling to the North Pole because the shipmates over which he is captain have turned yellow at the first sign of danger and have just made him promise to return to Europe should they manage to extricate themselves from being stuck in the ice--which is the case when Frankenstein dies and his creature engages in remorse.
As I read this, I am overcome with great emotion. It seems so obvious how the conclusion of the novel should proceed. The monster who has, throughout the book, traversed the most inhospitable climates and terrains should obviously offer to assist Mr. Walton in continuing his journey. He had, afterall, attended to Frankenstein during the across-the-world chase when Frankenstein vows to murder his own creation...should he ever manage to catch him...which he does not manage to do in life.
And why would Mr. Walton accept? Well, because at the novel's beginning he is desperate for a friend. It is just too clean. So obvious to me was this conclusion that I am not embarrassed to share that tears rolled down my eyes and I actually had to get up and walk around because it was such a profoundly wonderful ending...that I had imagined. Everyone wins. Sure the creature had killed a few people in revenge, but only when he was rejected by his very creator. Am I the only one who sees room for forgiveness here?
And, true, the creature is made out to be a bit much on the eyes. But if you had read just how desperate this Mr. Walton was for a friend, surely something akin to a berka could not have been too difficult to conceive in time.
After my emotional response to this fairytale imagining of a perfect end to this classic, the real ending left me wanting. If I haven't already spoiled it for you, you can read (or perhaps guess) the actual tale's ending.
Back to Butterfly Effect movie:
By the time Kutcher's character is on the fifth attempt to re-right and re-write his and his true love's future for the happy ending, the unintended tragic consequences have become, for a dark comedy lover such as myself, laugh-out-loud hilarious. I can't believe them. Too rich. So creative on the part of the writer's and producers.
So here's what all that has to do with cleaning house.
I won't spoil that ending for you either. Suffice it to say that it was the same general let down that I had after ending Frankenstein.
But I remembered how much I love dark endings. They have never bothered me before. In fact, in my own experiments with short stories, the climax has always revolved around some sudden courage or twist of fate leaving someone dead. I write trajedy. I've only written trajedy. What's the problem now.
Like I said, I got rid of the old car. My carpets have been cleaned. I'm in a different place.
And then there's my new writing buddy.
Finally, I've achieved a bit of breathing space. Adding to all the cleaning I've been doing over the year, the Buick is now gone, sold at auction last Friday. No details forthcoming since the only point is that it took an entire year after the convertible to feel entirely comfortable with it and secure enough that I didn't feel the need to hold on to the old energy of the old car.
That following Saturday, yesterday, I had my carpets cleaned. Oh the joy. I'd forgotten the true beautiful color of my carpet. It looks like new. Sadly, I'd evidently let quite a bit of dirt build up before coming clean. So like the energy work I'm doing. So like how much gunk I allowed to build up on my energy body before I got down and dirty and decided to clear out old useless and grimy impediments to letting my light shine fully in the world.
With all that cleaning going on, I also needed to take some time to just rest in it. To allow the change in energy to settle into my being.
It's done that, so now to the topic that got me back on blog.
I just watched Butterfly Effect. Powerful impact on me. I love the darkside of movies. It's sci-fi. The main character, Ashton Kutcher's character, has stumbled upon the ability to go back and time and change the past in the hopes of effecting a desired change upon his future. Well, not just his future. He wants to change the future for him and the girl he loves.
So, no matter what he does, like any decent feature length film requires, he and the girl never end up happily ever after.
Back to that in a moment.
I also just recently finished reading Mary Shelly's Frankenstein. Nevermind the movies based around it, the book is a good read. I related to the characters immensely. The seething loaners drawn to the arcane knowledge, adventure and lofty goals too fantastic for the average Joe.
As the book winds down to its endind, the hideous, murderous creature comes aboard a ship in the middle of the arctic ocean. On this ship is the dead body of his creator, Frankenstein, who has just told his tale of fantastic horror to the loaner adventurer who at books beginning longed to have a friend, a companion. The Adventurer, Mr. Walton, had hoped that Frankenstein might become that friend.
But that was not to be. Like I said, he dies.
We have learned by the end that the created being, this loathed being, only turned to murder, as it is conveyed, because when he sought out love, at every turn, he was rejected. No matter the goodness in his heart, no matter his doing the greatest of deeds for nothing more than approval and acceptance and a sense of belonging, his fate was to be shunned because of his hideousness.
By the way, if you have not read the book, he is a most eloquent monster.
When the monster comes on board to mourn the passing of his creator, he engages in a conversation of great remorse to Mr. Walton, the loaner longing for a friend. The loaner who is about to have to turn away from his dream of traveling to the North Pole because the shipmates over which he is captain have turned yellow at the first sign of danger and have just made him promise to return to Europe should they manage to extricate themselves from being stuck in the ice--which is the case when Frankenstein dies and his creature engages in remorse.
As I read this, I am overcome with great emotion. It seems so obvious how the conclusion of the novel should proceed. The monster who has, throughout the book, traversed the most inhospitable climates and terrains should obviously offer to assist Mr. Walton in continuing his journey. He had, afterall, attended to Frankenstein during the across-the-world chase when Frankenstein vows to murder his own creation...should he ever manage to catch him...which he does not manage to do in life.
And why would Mr. Walton accept? Well, because at the novel's beginning he is desperate for a friend. It is just too clean. So obvious to me was this conclusion that I am not embarrassed to share that tears rolled down my eyes and I actually had to get up and walk around because it was such a profoundly wonderful ending...that I had imagined. Everyone wins. Sure the creature had killed a few people in revenge, but only when he was rejected by his very creator. Am I the only one who sees room for forgiveness here?
And, true, the creature is made out to be a bit much on the eyes. But if you had read just how desperate this Mr. Walton was for a friend, surely something akin to a berka could not have been too difficult to conceive in time.
After my emotional response to this fairytale imagining of a perfect end to this classic, the real ending left me wanting. If I haven't already spoiled it for you, you can read (or perhaps guess) the actual tale's ending.
Back to Butterfly Effect movie:
By the time Kutcher's character is on the fifth attempt to re-right and re-write his and his true love's future for the happy ending, the unintended tragic consequences have become, for a dark comedy lover such as myself, laugh-out-loud hilarious. I can't believe them. Too rich. So creative on the part of the writer's and producers.
So here's what all that has to do with cleaning house.
I won't spoil that ending for you either. Suffice it to say that it was the same general let down that I had after ending Frankenstein.
But I remembered how much I love dark endings. They have never bothered me before. In fact, in my own experiments with short stories, the climax has always revolved around some sudden courage or twist of fate leaving someone dead. I write trajedy. I've only written trajedy. What's the problem now.
Like I said, I got rid of the old car. My carpets have been cleaned. I'm in a different place.
And then there's my new writing buddy.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Reiki Symbol Potluck
I was revisiting one of my Reiki books. Just browsing through. I came across the Raku symbol. When I received my Reiki III attunement it was not taught to me. A copy of it was placed in the folder and the instructor went over it's name, but when we did attunements on classmates, using it was not part of the instruction.
Today, I decided to give it a try, to just play with it a while. I'm at the place now with Reiki that I better understand all the different branches of Reiki as people's attempts to make money. Not necessarily from a greedy place or any kind of mal-intent.
It's just that the proliferation of new symbols and flavors of Reiki left me wanting to "maximize" my connection. More and more classes as a way to become a better healer. In search of African-rooted healing symbols, a google quest lead me to Lightarian Reiki. It sounded amazing.
When I looked it up, it was like all the others, something that someone "received" intuitively. I'm in no way poo-pooing intuitive receipt of increased knowledge. I am questioning the need to package it as a "better" Reiki. There are Karuna Reiki folks, Seichem Reiki folks, and I'm sure Lightarian Reiki folks, all getting great and amazing results. I bet there are even incredible Usui Reiki folks doing amazing things.
But back to Raku...
Having looked around at all the various Reiki formats, I decided I'd try using the symbol even though I don't think I was "attuned" with it. Well here's what happened. The symbol danced all around me. It was up and down, almost like sweeping my aura clean and releasing attachments, old cords and out-dated connections.
Powerful! Does that mean when I receive published information on symbols of other Reiki forms I can do them without an attunement? What if I "receive" a new set of symbols? Will I and, more importantly should I, feel compelled to distribute them as a new and improved Reiki?
I am fully aware that I am in no position to answer those questions today. My higher self says I've still got lots to learn before the answers will be clear (we've been talking to each other a lot more directly these days). Which probably means the answer depends on many things. More importantly, it means what others do with symbols they believe they have received is none of my business unless and until the universe makes it my business. Right now, it ain't my business.
The Lightarian Reiki doesn't add new symbols. It holds itself above Usui and Karuna by virtue of intensity and connection to higher vibrations of the same universal energy flow accomplished through intention. Sounds wonderful to me.
Is that really something "new". Is it possible that any Reiki Master of any branch can do enough purification, healing and self-development that the Reiki energy becomes powerful enough to surpass the symbology of Karuna, Seichem and Lightarian Reiki?
And just sitting at the keyboard a while an answer downloads into my mind.
It isn't any different than my pursuit of the original Reiki attunements. On my own I could have increased my connection to universal energy. My healing powers, with intention, would assuredly have grown. What the Reiki attunements offered was a quickening of the path to spiritual and personal growth. Like a worm hole through space, you get to bypass a bit of the usual linear travel time.
Readers should keep in mind that I'm not even two months old as a Reiki Master. I haven't yet fully explored the minimum possibilities of Dai Ko Myo. Then again, I'm coming to terms with past lives in healing work, and inherently appreciate that all roads lead to spiritual Rome.
Even with an innate of understanding of that fact, I can't deny that in my dreams, I fantasize myself destined to discover an ancient West African symbology of universal energy.
Today, I decided to give it a try, to just play with it a while. I'm at the place now with Reiki that I better understand all the different branches of Reiki as people's attempts to make money. Not necessarily from a greedy place or any kind of mal-intent.
It's just that the proliferation of new symbols and flavors of Reiki left me wanting to "maximize" my connection. More and more classes as a way to become a better healer. In search of African-rooted healing symbols, a google quest lead me to Lightarian Reiki. It sounded amazing.
When I looked it up, it was like all the others, something that someone "received" intuitively. I'm in no way poo-pooing intuitive receipt of increased knowledge. I am questioning the need to package it as a "better" Reiki. There are Karuna Reiki folks, Seichem Reiki folks, and I'm sure Lightarian Reiki folks, all getting great and amazing results. I bet there are even incredible Usui Reiki folks doing amazing things.
But back to Raku...
Having looked around at all the various Reiki formats, I decided I'd try using the symbol even though I don't think I was "attuned" with it. Well here's what happened. The symbol danced all around me. It was up and down, almost like sweeping my aura clean and releasing attachments, old cords and out-dated connections.
Powerful! Does that mean when I receive published information on symbols of other Reiki forms I can do them without an attunement? What if I "receive" a new set of symbols? Will I and, more importantly should I, feel compelled to distribute them as a new and improved Reiki?
I am fully aware that I am in no position to answer those questions today. My higher self says I've still got lots to learn before the answers will be clear (we've been talking to each other a lot more directly these days). Which probably means the answer depends on many things. More importantly, it means what others do with symbols they believe they have received is none of my business unless and until the universe makes it my business. Right now, it ain't my business.
The Lightarian Reiki doesn't add new symbols. It holds itself above Usui and Karuna by virtue of intensity and connection to higher vibrations of the same universal energy flow accomplished through intention. Sounds wonderful to me.
Is that really something "new". Is it possible that any Reiki Master of any branch can do enough purification, healing and self-development that the Reiki energy becomes powerful enough to surpass the symbology of Karuna, Seichem and Lightarian Reiki?
And just sitting at the keyboard a while an answer downloads into my mind.
It isn't any different than my pursuit of the original Reiki attunements. On my own I could have increased my connection to universal energy. My healing powers, with intention, would assuredly have grown. What the Reiki attunements offered was a quickening of the path to spiritual and personal growth. Like a worm hole through space, you get to bypass a bit of the usual linear travel time.
Readers should keep in mind that I'm not even two months old as a Reiki Master. I haven't yet fully explored the minimum possibilities of Dai Ko Myo. Then again, I'm coming to terms with past lives in healing work, and inherently appreciate that all roads lead to spiritual Rome.
Even with an innate of understanding of that fact, I can't deny that in my dreams, I fantasize myself destined to discover an ancient West African symbology of universal energy.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Wow...It's been a while
There are a ton of ways to describe it, and they all either elude me or don't quite fit my view exactly.
The short of it is I'm going through a quickening of sorts. My ideas, my self-view, my plans and my perspectives change almost as quickly as they form. And it's great. I ain't complaining. It's a marvelous spiritual and psychic growth spurt without too many growing pains.
Yet, as I experience it, I have no interest in trying to capture snapshots to share via my blog. Maybe that's a good thing. It is what it is.
So, I'll be bidding adieu for just a while till all this growth settles a bit and I can identify a direction.
That's part of the disinterest in blogging for the time being as well. It began as an opportunity to share about my spiritual growth with a distinctly Reiki and crystal focus. But presently, a great deal of my growth is in working more closely with my spirit guides and angels. It was already a tax on my comfort zone to share how Reiki and crystals were changing my life and my experiences, but I was able to muster the courage. As the experiences move to the outer edges of metaphysical experience, I feel a need to increase my own comfort level and acceptance of them, before I attempt sharing out.
In case you were wondering what happened...
The short of it is I'm going through a quickening of sorts. My ideas, my self-view, my plans and my perspectives change almost as quickly as they form. And it's great. I ain't complaining. It's a marvelous spiritual and psychic growth spurt without too many growing pains.
Yet, as I experience it, I have no interest in trying to capture snapshots to share via my blog. Maybe that's a good thing. It is what it is.
So, I'll be bidding adieu for just a while till all this growth settles a bit and I can identify a direction.
That's part of the disinterest in blogging for the time being as well. It began as an opportunity to share about my spiritual growth with a distinctly Reiki and crystal focus. But presently, a great deal of my growth is in working more closely with my spirit guides and angels. It was already a tax on my comfort zone to share how Reiki and crystals were changing my life and my experiences, but I was able to muster the courage. As the experiences move to the outer edges of metaphysical experience, I feel a need to increase my own comfort level and acceptance of them, before I attempt sharing out.
In case you were wondering what happened...
Monday, June 11, 2007
Rejected Blessings
I wonder how often I refuse blessings? I hope not often, but I am sure the reason God gave me today's experience with a former colleague was to teach me a lesson.
A very Christian woman I knew from high school and whom I ended up working with for a few years until 2005, returned to our campus for a visit. The person she came to see had left the site early, so she sat with the some of us while we practiced for an upcoming skit.
When we were done she shared some of the things that had been going on in her life since she left to join her new husband in a land far, far away. It's within the state but it might as well be a different universe for the culture shock she experienced. Without recounting her travails, she's making the most of her situation. She shared a story of a run-in with a student that left her wrist injured. Her range of motion is significantly decreased.
When she emphasized the extent of the damage, I assumed she was open to having it healed. More specifically, I assumed she was open to my using Reiki to heal it. I asked her to take off her watch, which she did but noticably hesitantly. I began to slide off my ring.
Noting her hesitation, I asked if she'd heard of Reiki. Considering she had once been a patron of other holistic healing therapies, I was excited to be able to offer for free and in-the-moment what I thought would help her heal.
"Oh...I've heard that energy is (polluted)."
She slid back on her watch. I remembered that this was the same woman who would be certain I was at best purgatory bound for some of my non-doctrinal Christian views. Spirituality would not be enough, nor good intentions or even good deeds without a sound doctrinal foundation.
When she tried to explain, I simply said, "I know who you are are. I know how you are."
We continued to talk without skipping a beat. And then there were more tales of less than wonderful life events.
I have to admit that I was hurt and a bit ticked that she was closed-minded about the Reiki. As I got up to leave, she asked how I'd been and expressed how youthful I looked and generally, like I was in great health. Since Reiki and crystal energy work have been part of the process in my looking and being more healthful, I shared about it despite her disinterest in receiving the energy.
And, I must admit to doing this to make a point, I shared the story about the neighborhood cat that followed me home and came back every few hours until I sent it Reiki energy. It wasn't quite this deliberate, but she did formerly own a cat and I doubted she could insist that cat's were dumb or duped by impure energy. She asked a little more about the energy. She was coming around when I said that the purity of the energy may in fact be influenced by the vessel, and that I always pray beforehand to Father, Mother Earth, Jesus and Holy Spirit... Now, I could have left out that I include Mother Earth since that is NOT doctrinal. I could have done so, but then I would have engaged in some form of subtle trickery. I knew that any points made for Reiki would be lost with the inclusion of Mother Earth as capable of being involved in blessing and healing.
I couldn't help but wonder if she'd prayed that morning for relief for her wrist.
A very Christian woman I knew from high school and whom I ended up working with for a few years until 2005, returned to our campus for a visit. The person she came to see had left the site early, so she sat with the some of us while we practiced for an upcoming skit.
When we were done she shared some of the things that had been going on in her life since she left to join her new husband in a land far, far away. It's within the state but it might as well be a different universe for the culture shock she experienced. Without recounting her travails, she's making the most of her situation. She shared a story of a run-in with a student that left her wrist injured. Her range of motion is significantly decreased.
When she emphasized the extent of the damage, I assumed she was open to having it healed. More specifically, I assumed she was open to my using Reiki to heal it. I asked her to take off her watch, which she did but noticably hesitantly. I began to slide off my ring.
Noting her hesitation, I asked if she'd heard of Reiki. Considering she had once been a patron of other holistic healing therapies, I was excited to be able to offer for free and in-the-moment what I thought would help her heal.
"Oh...I've heard that energy is (polluted)."
She slid back on her watch. I remembered that this was the same woman who would be certain I was at best purgatory bound for some of my non-doctrinal Christian views. Spirituality would not be enough, nor good intentions or even good deeds without a sound doctrinal foundation.
When she tried to explain, I simply said, "I know who you are are. I know how you are."
We continued to talk without skipping a beat. And then there were more tales of less than wonderful life events.
I have to admit that I was hurt and a bit ticked that she was closed-minded about the Reiki. As I got up to leave, she asked how I'd been and expressed how youthful I looked and generally, like I was in great health. Since Reiki and crystal energy work have been part of the process in my looking and being more healthful, I shared about it despite her disinterest in receiving the energy.
And, I must admit to doing this to make a point, I shared the story about the neighborhood cat that followed me home and came back every few hours until I sent it Reiki energy. It wasn't quite this deliberate, but she did formerly own a cat and I doubted she could insist that cat's were dumb or duped by impure energy. She asked a little more about the energy. She was coming around when I said that the purity of the energy may in fact be influenced by the vessel, and that I always pray beforehand to Father, Mother Earth, Jesus and Holy Spirit... Now, I could have left out that I include Mother Earth since that is NOT doctrinal. I could have done so, but then I would have engaged in some form of subtle trickery. I knew that any points made for Reiki would be lost with the inclusion of Mother Earth as capable of being involved in blessing and healing.
I couldn't help but wonder if she'd prayed that morning for relief for her wrist.
So That's What I Love about the Caribbean
I was reading up on a crystal I bought for a friend. It referenced "the many mansions in the house of spirit." (The Book of Stones on pietersite). While holding it I thought about this and I felt like I was there.
It was an ocean front room at sunset, the sky in an uncommon and calmly vibrant variety of orange, purple and brown hues and colors interspersed with sky blue. Amazingly beautiful and serene. The wall facing out to the sea was missing, open air style. Well, actually, it was a variant of the spot I'll be inhabiting next week in Barbados.
And it felt like I was Heaven. "In My Father's house are many mansions." If I had to guess, my room in my Father's house is like my ideal Caribbean room. I miss home. I try to go back to visit as often as I can. If your room, suite or guest house in God's many mansions were a place on earth, where would yours be?
While I spent some time in my Heavenly room, I thought about what's been on my mind a lot lately. What do I want to do with the rest of my life? OK, trite and cliche, I know. I enjoy my job a great deal and it pays well. So much so that I worry that my love of security is keeping me from something I'd enjoy more.
While in my room, I asked myself what would truly bring me joy to do on earth. The answer was surprisingly quick. I'd give parent workshops on education. The thing I'm doing now in my spare time. The thing I wrote a book about to give me credibility.
Why do I run here and there looking for something else? This might be a good time to note the selenite wand I purchased Friday. I didn't wonder why it was that suddenly on Saturday morning I woke up wondering about my life's work. I just did. I called a friend first thing in the morning and we were gung-ho on becoming life coaches. Then, and only then, we'd go into workshops. This friend and I banter back and forth year after year on new ideas for our next great career move or entrepreneurial venture. And year after year we add a few speaking engagements and then settle back into our usual routines.
Every idea, every move and every venture always culminates in speaking to groups. Small groups, workshops mostly. In fact, she and I met while advising students. We didn't really begin to click until we started doing our separate speaking engagements and talked about our successes and challenges. Within a few months we were doing joint workshops...or sitting on each other's.
Back to my room in my mansion...
When I got the quick answer that I'd give workshops, my room was suddenly filled with other light beings. They were fellow soul sojourners offering their support. Prospective parents from future workshops who were letting me know that, indeed, doing that work was much needed.
The difference their presence made was in reminding me that they don't need another expert on the educational system, they need the part of me that takes the time to explain it and who cares from a heartful place about supporting their challenge of raising their children. Not that it was to be about parenting advice. Just someone who actually understands the hassle and challenge they face in trying to do the right thing when dealing with the educational system.
My unique gift. My book is OK. But the place where I get an energy kickback and where I get the greatest positive feedback is when I am speaking to parents, answering their questions.
(Sorry so rough. I'll edit later and re-publish.)
Bottom line (long day, long night)...In that peaceful and supportive place that felt like my room in Heaven, I was able to appreciate that other souls are waiting for me to actually DO my life's purpose, to live it. And that my life's purpose is what I'm already doing, there's just room for me to commit to it. Most important, I can finally get over my book. It was meant to enhance a prospective speaking career, but it has instead gotten in the way of me doing what I'm good at, what I'm called to do, as I focused on income streams and how the experts say it is supposed to be done.
From The Book of Stones on Selenite:
"Selenite can lift one's awareness to higher planes of inner experience, making it possible for one to consciously meet one's spirit guides and guardian angels. It facilitates the experience of receiving advice and information from one's guides in the form of "interior motives."
Makes more sense that the light beings were spirit guides than prospective parents.
"In such experiences, one closes one's eyes in meditation while lying with a Selenite wand resting on the heart chakra and pointing toward the head...As one moves into the meditative state, one is likely to see one or more guides, often in the form that symbolize something about the message. The guide or guides will take one through a 'story' that reveals the message symbolically. Words are seldom used, which makes the guides' job much easier. One might say that when Selenite opens the inner eye, the spiritual world enters."
It was an ocean front room at sunset, the sky in an uncommon and calmly vibrant variety of orange, purple and brown hues and colors interspersed with sky blue. Amazingly beautiful and serene. The wall facing out to the sea was missing, open air style. Well, actually, it was a variant of the spot I'll be inhabiting next week in Barbados.
And it felt like I was Heaven. "In My Father's house are many mansions." If I had to guess, my room in my Father's house is like my ideal Caribbean room. I miss home. I try to go back to visit as often as I can. If your room, suite or guest house in God's many mansions were a place on earth, where would yours be?
While I spent some time in my Heavenly room, I thought about what's been on my mind a lot lately. What do I want to do with the rest of my life? OK, trite and cliche, I know. I enjoy my job a great deal and it pays well. So much so that I worry that my love of security is keeping me from something I'd enjoy more.
While in my room, I asked myself what would truly bring me joy to do on earth. The answer was surprisingly quick. I'd give parent workshops on education. The thing I'm doing now in my spare time. The thing I wrote a book about to give me credibility.
Why do I run here and there looking for something else? This might be a good time to note the selenite wand I purchased Friday. I didn't wonder why it was that suddenly on Saturday morning I woke up wondering about my life's work. I just did. I called a friend first thing in the morning and we were gung-ho on becoming life coaches. Then, and only then, we'd go into workshops. This friend and I banter back and forth year after year on new ideas for our next great career move or entrepreneurial venture. And year after year we add a few speaking engagements and then settle back into our usual routines.
Every idea, every move and every venture always culminates in speaking to groups. Small groups, workshops mostly. In fact, she and I met while advising students. We didn't really begin to click until we started doing our separate speaking engagements and talked about our successes and challenges. Within a few months we were doing joint workshops...or sitting on each other's.
Back to my room in my mansion...
When I got the quick answer that I'd give workshops, my room was suddenly filled with other light beings. They were fellow soul sojourners offering their support. Prospective parents from future workshops who were letting me know that, indeed, doing that work was much needed.
The difference their presence made was in reminding me that they don't need another expert on the educational system, they need the part of me that takes the time to explain it and who cares from a heartful place about supporting their challenge of raising their children. Not that it was to be about parenting advice. Just someone who actually understands the hassle and challenge they face in trying to do the right thing when dealing with the educational system.
My unique gift. My book is OK. But the place where I get an energy kickback and where I get the greatest positive feedback is when I am speaking to parents, answering their questions.
(Sorry so rough. I'll edit later and re-publish.)
Bottom line (long day, long night)...In that peaceful and supportive place that felt like my room in Heaven, I was able to appreciate that other souls are waiting for me to actually DO my life's purpose, to live it. And that my life's purpose is what I'm already doing, there's just room for me to commit to it. Most important, I can finally get over my book. It was meant to enhance a prospective speaking career, but it has instead gotten in the way of me doing what I'm good at, what I'm called to do, as I focused on income streams and how the experts say it is supposed to be done.
From The Book of Stones on Selenite:
"Selenite can lift one's awareness to higher planes of inner experience, making it possible for one to consciously meet one's spirit guides and guardian angels. It facilitates the experience of receiving advice and information from one's guides in the form of "interior motives."
Makes more sense that the light beings were spirit guides than prospective parents.
"In such experiences, one closes one's eyes in meditation while lying with a Selenite wand resting on the heart chakra and pointing toward the head...As one moves into the meditative state, one is likely to see one or more guides, often in the form that symbolize something about the message. The guide or guides will take one through a 'story' that reveals the message symbolically. Words are seldom used, which makes the guides' job much easier. One might say that when Selenite opens the inner eye, the spiritual world enters."
Saturday, June 2, 2007
The Energy of Love
I had no idea what it was I always chasing.
I used to think it was people, experiences, adventures and so on. Now I know. I'm an addict for the energy of love. I suspect it is true for us all. The only problem is when we confuse the energy of love with the forms it takes to make itself experiential.
A plant taught me that.
Last weekend I cared for the plants around my home. I added a few, changed the soil on others, pruned the ones that needed it and loved them all.
That concluded on Monday. On Tuesday the following email was inspired:
I came home today and there was a shriveled up little plant sitting on my deck. Who sat it there??? Poor thing. My intuition suggests someone is hoping I'll do something to it so it looks more like the plants I care for...work some strawberry majic.
It didn't just walk over and place itself on the edge of the rail at the very top of the stair.
I can see the value in figuring out and owning what I came here (incarnate) for. It'll help me to make the decisions about what I'm open to and what I am not. I can't see the harm in taking the plant in and fixing it up a bit. And yet, I can't deny that there's something wrong with my motivation.
Aaaaah. There's still so much ego in me. Now I know why you accused me of having a Jesus complex, in a twisted way. Saving the plant, helping it grow is not really my motivation. I just want to show off what I can do for the plant. Save the plant, flex my muscles.
No doubt the plant will still be helped in the end, but oh how much sweeter the karma, how much sweeter the joy, and how much richer would my interaction with the plant be if I had a different motivation.
By the way, that insight was courtesy of the palm I bought at Lowes that is sitting right next to me. It is such a beautiful creature. When I look over at it, it pulls at the corner of my mouth and I catch myself smiling. I ran my fingers along the stem earlier. I've never been this open to enjoying the life force of such a creature before, to experiencing the life and wisdom of a plant.
Thanks to that experience with the palm, I can go outside and actually interact with the plant that someone sat on my rail the day after I spruced up and tended to my own garden. Oh, then there's that...the other part of my Jesus complex, coming to the rescue.
So much to be cognitive about. For today I'm just gonna bless the plant because...well...because I'm a greedy little predator pig who'll force myself on a plant whilst I work on learning not to force myself on people.
There, it's been owned. Off I go to partake of some plant lovin'.
After the buddy I emailed to offered some insight and feedback, the next day I was much clearer on articulating the why of being here this lifetime, and really, all lifetimes.
I came here to learn how to love.
With the plant last night I definitely learned/remembered how much I enjoy loving.
My issue is not remembering the natural way endowed me to do it. And, yes, that's true for all of us.
I was clear last night when I brought the plant inside that I was gonna 'love' it--regardless of it being the right thing to do or any of my business. Just being aware of the intention was fabulously inspiring of more curiosity. Of course, the obvious, I thought of love as usefulness. How snobby of me to pretend the connection is "obvious"...as if it hasn't been a lot of work to connect those dots.
I can't believe how much I think I get a free pass for pushing myself on others just because my hope, my goal, my INTENTION is to 'love' them.
While "raping" the plant, I was suddenly struck with it's inherent beauty, even as it was practically dead. It's lifeforce, it's value and worth and character and natural joy. And I felt an undeniable sensation of it reflecting me, reflecting God and emanating an energy of love.
This morning I woke up able to own that I'm an addict for love. I love the energy love and can'y get enough of it.
My work this lifetime is returning to innocence on HOW to love naturally, innocenty, without domination or degradation or hostility.
Mmmmmmmmmmmm.
And that plant is still sitting right outside my window on the stair railing just outside my door, across from the door of the neighbor who placed it there. Next to it is the 2nd plant she placed there the following day when she saw the nearly dead plant returning to life. I haven't done anything to the other plant, though.
Unfortunately, I read too late that when giving Reiki to sick plants, one has to be careful about not inadvertantly giving increased lifeforce to any bugs or fungi. The plant has perked up quite a bit. In addition to Reiki, I gave it good old-fashioned plant food. When I got closer this morning, though, there were also more bugs flying around it.
Hmmmmph. Could that have been the hesitation I didn't heed. In taking it upon myself to help that ailing plant, unaware of its infested condition, I have now put in jeopardy the health of my own thriving plants.
Live and learn.
In either case, the experience with the plants served to remind of the joy of exchanging love. That's what stood out. It wasn't just about "giving" the plant love and energy. In allowing it to share it's beauty and wisdom and life, I received the same.
That's what is addictive. The exchange of the energy of love.
Everything else, as a good friend always says, just substitutes.
I used to think it was people, experiences, adventures and so on. Now I know. I'm an addict for the energy of love. I suspect it is true for us all. The only problem is when we confuse the energy of love with the forms it takes to make itself experiential.
A plant taught me that.
Last weekend I cared for the plants around my home. I added a few, changed the soil on others, pruned the ones that needed it and loved them all.
That concluded on Monday. On Tuesday the following email was inspired:
I came home today and there was a shriveled up little plant sitting on my deck. Who sat it there??? Poor thing. My intuition suggests someone is hoping I'll do something to it so it looks more like the plants I care for...work some strawberry majic.
It didn't just walk over and place itself on the edge of the rail at the very top of the stair.
I can see the value in figuring out and owning what I came here (incarnate) for. It'll help me to make the decisions about what I'm open to and what I am not. I can't see the harm in taking the plant in and fixing it up a bit. And yet, I can't deny that there's something wrong with my motivation.
Aaaaah. There's still so much ego in me. Now I know why you accused me of having a Jesus complex, in a twisted way. Saving the plant, helping it grow is not really my motivation. I just want to show off what I can do for the plant. Save the plant, flex my muscles.
No doubt the plant will still be helped in the end, but oh how much sweeter the karma, how much sweeter the joy, and how much richer would my interaction with the plant be if I had a different motivation.
By the way, that insight was courtesy of the palm I bought at Lowes that is sitting right next to me. It is such a beautiful creature. When I look over at it, it pulls at the corner of my mouth and I catch myself smiling. I ran my fingers along the stem earlier. I've never been this open to enjoying the life force of such a creature before, to experiencing the life and wisdom of a plant.
Thanks to that experience with the palm, I can go outside and actually interact with the plant that someone sat on my rail the day after I spruced up and tended to my own garden. Oh, then there's that...the other part of my Jesus complex, coming to the rescue.
So much to be cognitive about. For today I'm just gonna bless the plant because...well...because I'm a greedy little predator pig who'll force myself on a plant whilst I work on learning not to force myself on people.
There, it's been owned. Off I go to partake of some plant lovin'.
After the buddy I emailed to offered some insight and feedback, the next day I was much clearer on articulating the why of being here this lifetime, and really, all lifetimes.
I came here to learn how to love.
With the plant last night I definitely learned/remembered how much I enjoy loving.
My issue is not remembering the natural way endowed me to do it. And, yes, that's true for all of us.
I was clear last night when I brought the plant inside that I was gonna 'love' it--regardless of it being the right thing to do or any of my business. Just being aware of the intention was fabulously inspiring of more curiosity. Of course, the obvious, I thought of love as usefulness. How snobby of me to pretend the connection is "obvious"...as if it hasn't been a lot of work to connect those dots.
I can't believe how much I think I get a free pass for pushing myself on others just because my hope, my goal, my INTENTION is to 'love' them.
While "raping" the plant, I was suddenly struck with it's inherent beauty, even as it was practically dead. It's lifeforce, it's value and worth and character and natural joy. And I felt an undeniable sensation of it reflecting me, reflecting God and emanating an energy of love.
This morning I woke up able to own that I'm an addict for love. I love the energy love and can'y get enough of it.
My work this lifetime is returning to innocence on HOW to love naturally, innocenty, without domination or degradation or hostility.
Mmmmmmmmmmmm.
And that plant is still sitting right outside my window on the stair railing just outside my door, across from the door of the neighbor who placed it there. Next to it is the 2nd plant she placed there the following day when she saw the nearly dead plant returning to life. I haven't done anything to the other plant, though.
Unfortunately, I read too late that when giving Reiki to sick plants, one has to be careful about not inadvertantly giving increased lifeforce to any bugs or fungi. The plant has perked up quite a bit. In addition to Reiki, I gave it good old-fashioned plant food. When I got closer this morning, though, there were also more bugs flying around it.
Hmmmmph. Could that have been the hesitation I didn't heed. In taking it upon myself to help that ailing plant, unaware of its infested condition, I have now put in jeopardy the health of my own thriving plants.
Live and learn.
In either case, the experience with the plants served to remind of the joy of exchanging love. That's what stood out. It wasn't just about "giving" the plant love and energy. In allowing it to share it's beauty and wisdom and life, I received the same.
That's what is addictive. The exchange of the energy of love.
Everything else, as a good friend always says, just substitutes.
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