Transformation...ongoing

Finally, I am starting to get it. Between my Landmark courses, conversations with old friends and the daily process of processing living with an attitude of marvel and wonder, I am starting to be ok with me. The real me that I've hidden under all those warm, friendly behaviors that were designed to make sure I was tolerated with the least amount of interference or undesirable attention.

I post so little because I fear so much. Sure, I'm busy, too. But mostly the reason it takes so long to add entries here is because I am always wanting to edit and sanitize to assure I've controlled the impression left. So I think, anyway. I fear being judged inadequate, flaky, weird, unacceptable, daft. And yet, people who are tempted to judge me that way will do so no matter how well I edit. I wrap my ideas in cellophane and think I'm keeping secrets.

And as much as I all those things, I am also each of their opposites. And, on top of that, a whole host of other things and their opposites. Complicated, complex being.

Time to move on from fear. In the past I've tried to come up with some central theme around which my handful of readers--friends, family and fellow healers--might find acceptable and predictable and thereby be enticed to revisit. Yep, I spent a lot of useless time trying to figure out what kinds of posts should be placed here.

Transformation. That's really the theme that has always been true. The only impediment to claiming it has been my need to share only the things that let me look good as I saw it. Challenges resolved instead of challenges ongoing.

Flaky!!! I started this blog writing about my experiences with Reiki and Crystals and the fantastic ways my life changed for the better. And then, blogs about my passion for writing. And so on and so on. It felt so inconsistent. And yet, the consistency was present and obvious to everyone but me. Transformation.

This is notice that my blogs will be transforming. I won't even predict into what. Let's see what happens.