Posts
My home was broken into. I think. Just to be safe, I had my locks changed. My uncle did it for me. He'd been fiddling with it for a while. Actually, a couple hours. Finally, he said, "I can't get this knob to get back on correctly." He's a locksmith by the way.
It was unusual for him to have that amount of trouble, though he did say that sometimes it happens that way--something that should go smoothly just doesn't do what it ought to do and you work with it. He'd been working with that part for an hour. He tried explaining what it might be, how many ways he'd tried to re-insert it and so on. He was telling me for a reason, but I had no idea how to help.
Finally, I just decided to send it Reiki. I imagined one of the Reiki symbols where he was having difficulty. Not even three seconds later, voila. All done. Easy pleasy lock fits snuggly.
Doubters can have a field day with. I'm just balancing one hour and three seconds.
But, you may be wondering, why was there difficulty in the first place. Well, the Reiki fixed that particular problem, that of the knob and new lock not fitting snuggly. At the time, he also said that he kept trying to make it work because he didn't want to have to drive all the way home to get a new knob and lock.
Today, I came home and there was obvious evidence that someone had indeed tried to enter my home through the front door while I was out. I put in my key and it took a whole lot of jiggling it to get the latch to catch so that I could turn the lock. When I finally got inside, I called my uncle and explained that I suspected someone came back and had tampered with the lock trying to open it when the old key or old technique didn't work. He suggested taking a look at the door frame first before jumping to conclusions to see if there were any tell-tale signs.
There were. Someone had.
As it happens, the problem with the knob was the universe letting me know that I needed to switch out that rather simple bottom lock and replace it with something stronger, studier and more secure. I'm thinking that when my uncle spent the first fifteen minutes trying to do what should have taken two or three, that was a sign to go ahead and change the lock.
He didn't. We didn't. So now he'll still have to come back afterall.
But like I said, Reiki solved the specific problem.
Which brings me to a note about universal energies, healing and even what some people would call magic...or having our prayers answered. We have to always be mindful of being careful when we pray, when we ask for healing and so on. In the end, we might be better asking for the message in the issue/difficulty/disease first and only after seeking understanding and guidance ask for the fix.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Writing again, The spirit of words
I'm writing again. My muse is back.
I've recently had TeraMai Seichem Reiki attunements--three levels at once, on a single Sunday afternoon.
And I'm reading Dostoevsky's The Idiot.
Those three things are important to know as I share a tremendous experience from this evening. If you've ever seen an overdone Hollywood comedy that featured a scene at a black church where someone is overcome with emotion...something like that happened to me this evening as I finished the first part to Dostoevsky's novel.
Firstly, you need to know that there is a story that goes with the purchase of the novel. A ton of coincidences that culminated in my literally feeling like I was outside of my body when I bought this particular book. I walked through the bookstore feeling as if I was simultaneously walking in different dimensions. I only noticed as I "came back" to my usual bodily experience and had more than a couple moments where everyone else in the store and the store itself were experienced as if I were in a movie, but more like I was on the screen on which the movie were being projected and everyone walking around had no greater depth or dimension than the characters on a screen. Quite frankly, it was extremely cool.
So then there's the TeraMaiSeichem. Wow! Anytime you get Reiki attunements there's a 21-day cleansing cycle. The first week of it coincided with the first full week of the new school year. And did I mention that I chose to get three attunements on a single day??? As a contrast, last year's series were done over eight months and those who've kept up with the changes in my life during that time frame know they were significant and many. So, this time I attune to energies that are like moving up from local broadcast news to CNN. More depth, more intensity. Three at once. Last week was a bit emotional as well. Lots of old baggage coming up for tossing out. It's beautiful and wonderful, but I didn't want to cheat myself of experiencing it as it passed out so I sat with it all.
By Sunday, a whole week of initial cleansing behind me, I had finally made it through the most difficult part.
Part of the process, I've been writing a short story. It is both an exercise in creative writing as well as a tool I used to help process one piece of baggage that came up last week.
(I didn't come back to that one, but will post it in its incompleteness anyway.)
I've recently had TeraMai Seichem Reiki attunements--three levels at once, on a single Sunday afternoon.
And I'm reading Dostoevsky's The Idiot.
Those three things are important to know as I share a tremendous experience from this evening. If you've ever seen an overdone Hollywood comedy that featured a scene at a black church where someone is overcome with emotion...something like that happened to me this evening as I finished the first part to Dostoevsky's novel.
Firstly, you need to know that there is a story that goes with the purchase of the novel. A ton of coincidences that culminated in my literally feeling like I was outside of my body when I bought this particular book. I walked through the bookstore feeling as if I was simultaneously walking in different dimensions. I only noticed as I "came back" to my usual bodily experience and had more than a couple moments where everyone else in the store and the store itself were experienced as if I were in a movie, but more like I was on the screen on which the movie were being projected and everyone walking around had no greater depth or dimension than the characters on a screen. Quite frankly, it was extremely cool.
So then there's the TeraMaiSeichem. Wow! Anytime you get Reiki attunements there's a 21-day cleansing cycle. The first week of it coincided with the first full week of the new school year. And did I mention that I chose to get three attunements on a single day??? As a contrast, last year's series were done over eight months and those who've kept up with the changes in my life during that time frame know they were significant and many. So, this time I attune to energies that are like moving up from local broadcast news to CNN. More depth, more intensity. Three at once. Last week was a bit emotional as well. Lots of old baggage coming up for tossing out. It's beautiful and wonderful, but I didn't want to cheat myself of experiencing it as it passed out so I sat with it all.
By Sunday, a whole week of initial cleansing behind me, I had finally made it through the most difficult part.
Part of the process, I've been writing a short story. It is both an exercise in creative writing as well as a tool I used to help process one piece of baggage that came up last week.
(I didn't come back to that one, but will post it in its incompleteness anyway.)
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Cleaning my crystals
A fellow energy healer recently inquired about my preference for clearing and energizing crystals. The following is a sum-up. I'd love to hear your favorite techniques...
As soon as I get them home I ALWAYS hold and handle them under running water before I do anything else. Always. It may just be related to the particular stones I am attracted to, but they seem to get a real kick out of it and it almost feels like a light switch effect for waking them up and connecting to them.
While I run them under the water, I usually feel compelled to run my fingers gently around, down, across or in whatever direction seems most loving. I think the combination of being under running water and being simultaneously rubbed clear of any physical dirt or other debris does wonders for lightening their energy. While I'm doing this, since the Reiki attunements, I also speak aloud the Reiki symbols several times.
That is probably enough to complete the cleansing, but for me, it is usually just the first step. After that, I will use either sea salt or sunlight for anywhere between a few hours or a few days to further cleanse any prior programming or particularly energetic debris.
If I do use the sea salt, I still let the crystals sit outside, usually overnight, before I program it. As for dedication-asking that the crystal be used only for good of all-I do that anytime between the running water and just prior to actual programming. I start with Dai Ko Myo for a general healing and then follow the intuitive guidance on adding Sei He Ki or the other two.
Most of the reading has suggested Sei He Ki as ideal for crystal clearing, so I almost always end up sending that energy to or through the crystal as well. Recently I purchased a fairly large rose quartz chunk. The energy was pretty powerful. On this one I actually embedded the Sei He Ki symbol into its center. Part of the motivation had to do with the power of the energy, and partly because I was so excited when I got it home, that I didn't want to wait a whole day to bring it inside from the sunlight. Mostly,though, I keep crystals outdoors in the path of direct sunlight at least 24 hours.
As soon as I get them home I ALWAYS hold and handle them under running water before I do anything else. Always. It may just be related to the particular stones I am attracted to, but they seem to get a real kick out of it and it almost feels like a light switch effect for waking them up and connecting to them.
While I run them under the water, I usually feel compelled to run my fingers gently around, down, across or in whatever direction seems most loving. I think the combination of being under running water and being simultaneously rubbed clear of any physical dirt or other debris does wonders for lightening their energy. While I'm doing this, since the Reiki attunements, I also speak aloud the Reiki symbols several times.
That is probably enough to complete the cleansing, but for me, it is usually just the first step. After that, I will use either sea salt or sunlight for anywhere between a few hours or a few days to further cleanse any prior programming or particularly energetic debris.
If I do use the sea salt, I still let the crystals sit outside, usually overnight, before I program it. As for dedication-asking that the crystal be used only for good of all-I do that anytime between the running water and just prior to actual programming. I start with Dai Ko Myo for a general healing and then follow the intuitive guidance on adding Sei He Ki or the other two.
Most of the reading has suggested Sei He Ki as ideal for crystal clearing, so I almost always end up sending that energy to or through the crystal as well. Recently I purchased a fairly large rose quartz chunk. The energy was pretty powerful. On this one I actually embedded the Sei He Ki symbol into its center. Part of the motivation had to do with the power of the energy, and partly because I was so excited when I got it home, that I didn't want to wait a whole day to bring it inside from the sunlight. Mostly,though, I keep crystals outdoors in the path of direct sunlight at least 24 hours.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
TeraMai/Seichem
I'll be getting the 1st and 2nd attunements next week. I'm sure I'll have much more to write about as I integrate those energies.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
My writing buddy...
(The following is a slightly edited email to a friend about an elestial/skeletal quartz I purchased a week ago Saturday. It is, in part, the source of renewed energy to write again, to blog again. When I saw it...well, here's the story)
I bought this new crystal yesterday (Aug. 11th). I was drawn to it. Well, not exactly. I went to the fair with the intention of purchasing a citrine and the one I want to give you guys for up North.
I had been thinking about this one vendor from the moment I'd decided to go definitely go to this particular fair. The gem fairs are basically a huge flea market of vendors. Since last October I practically go to each fair that comes to Southern California--almost once a month. At this point, I've gone to at least 6, maybe 8, and recognize many of the vendors. Some of them recognize me. A few admit to recognizing me.
For the entire week, I've had in mind this particular citrine that one vendor displayed. It was simply too expensive for me when I saw it. If I remember the price correctly, it still is. But I wanted to see if he still had it. I was thinking about that crystal like it was the one that got away.
And it did. It got away.
Another, very, very similar one stood out, with the added quality of being affordable. I'm in love with this one too. It is right now sitting on the foyer table. Exactly where I fantasized putting the one that got away. Well, not exactly. I also imagined that one on a new dining room set. I had to look over and smile it jus now. I didn't settle. I was obedient. It took the one that got away to draw me to the one that was meant for my home. I needed to dream about the one I had seen to open myself to this one.
Anyway...back to obedience.
After I picked up the citrines for me and the amethyst for you guys, had paid for them and he was wrapping them up, I still didn't feel "done." I asked him to hold my stuff for me so I could walk the floor and see if there was something else. I made the rounds and not even a desire or inkling to handle anything else. I swept down and through the aisles so fast, I was amazed at my certainty. I knew there was something left to purchase, but I couldn't deny that it wasn't at any other vendors.
Even before I'd paid for my purchases, I kept wandering around Luis' booth. That's the vendor's name. His card says "Luis and Gloria..." Makes sense we were sympatico. I'm starting to wonder if I should just screen people "do you have a Gloria for a mother or wife? If yes, please call, we'll get along easily."
He smiled when he saw me coming and commented, "you changed your hair." I was surprised he remembered me. Then again, he always has the best selection, so I always spend more than just a passing moment at his booth. And then he followed the comment with a little lip smack and a sigh that hinted at being a bit let down. "Well, I can see your face better." As if that were the only redeeming quality of the new do.
"Thanks a lot. Well, thank you...sorta." It was fun. The curls were indeed a bit tight. Guess we're old friends. I appreciated the honesty. Talk about ensuring a sale.
I kept touching everything, asking about everything, I had a nagging feeling that there was something I was supposed to take home. Couldn't figure it out. That's when I went walking around the rest of the fair. As I walked back, Luis gave a quizzical shoulder raise to see if I'd found anything. I suppose he knows he's got the best stuff of the fair. As I walked toward him, I just waived him off to say, "Nothing. Waste of time."
When I was back at his booth, I was finally able to speak my truth. There was some other stone calling to me and I couldn't tell which one. I sat down in one of his chairs and actually had to ask for higher guidance to give me directions to the right stone.
In case you ever wondered about the degrees of intuitiveness. I was able to figure out that I couldn't leave without it, but there were too many energies melding and blending for me to discern for myself. I imagine if I were you (my highly intuitive friend) I'd have just gone straight to it.
Actually, glad I'm telling the story. I only used that method of asking directions after Luis tried being helpful and asked "is it an amethyst?" "No." "Is it elestial?" Well, it isn't not elestial.
That's when I realized we could play 40 questions all day, and, if I'm gonna use 40 questions instead of just relaxing with it, then I might as well do 40 questions on my own head and cut out the middleman. So I did. Are you on the table or on the platform above it? Are you on the left half or the right half? Before or after the round crystal...? In front of or behind....
And when I got the answer and walked over to it. I looked down and thought, "you???" I tried acting stupid, dumb. As if suddenly my higher guidance wasn't reliable. Suddenly, I couldn't trust myself. "In front of the ball?" I asked again anyway. As if the certainty I had before I walked over and saw it was void and no good just because it didn't look like the kind I like to buy.
I doubted. For a minute. For a few seconds.
No denying it. I bought it. No doubt, the appearance was one of the reasons it was a rather inexpensive piece from that collection. Let's just say, it wasn't conventionally appealing. If it were a woman, it would be like taking home the one your friends are gonna make fun of behind your back. It's shaped like one of those early versions of the pushbutton phone with the square face on a traditional angled body with the receiver fitting across the back, top.
And the best part of all: the confirmation! When I got over myself and looked beyond it's physical form, it initially looked less like a phone and more, on first impressions, like a stone replica of an old-fashioned typewriter. The first words out of my mouth when Luis gave me a look that asked "Are you sure it's this one?" was "Oh, this one's gonna help me with my writing."
I cleaned it, sat in the sun for the day and brought it back in the house around 9:00pm. I was finally feeling a little better, too.
As soon as I brought it in the house, I just held it to my chest. It felt so good, resonant, touch. I guess I do have a need for touch. Actually, that's no surprise. In this moment I can appreciate that what's going on is that I had an unhealthy version of the need to touch with sex and drugs and that what feels at the moment like not needing/wanting human touch is just me re-calibrating to healthy forms of getting that need met and people are a bit further down the road...after I've cleaned up a bit more. Good to know.
This stone felt so good. Kinda like the way I related to the palm tree I wrote about months back. That's the one, by the way that is now in the living room and next to where I intend to sit this stone. And yes the stone is right next to my computer as I type. Better than a dog that licks your face and leaves a mess or chews shoes, but just as affectionate and loyal and loving in energy.
"Are you sure it's this one?"
"Oh, this one's gonna help me with my writing."
And one week later, here I am.
I bought this new crystal yesterday (Aug. 11th). I was drawn to it. Well, not exactly. I went to the fair with the intention of purchasing a citrine and the one I want to give you guys for up North.
I had been thinking about this one vendor from the moment I'd decided to go definitely go to this particular fair. The gem fairs are basically a huge flea market of vendors. Since last October I practically go to each fair that comes to Southern California--almost once a month. At this point, I've gone to at least 6, maybe 8, and recognize many of the vendors. Some of them recognize me. A few admit to recognizing me.
For the entire week, I've had in mind this particular citrine that one vendor displayed. It was simply too expensive for me when I saw it. If I remember the price correctly, it still is. But I wanted to see if he still had it. I was thinking about that crystal like it was the one that got away.
And it did. It got away.
Another, very, very similar one stood out, with the added quality of being affordable. I'm in love with this one too. It is right now sitting on the foyer table. Exactly where I fantasized putting the one that got away. Well, not exactly. I also imagined that one on a new dining room set. I had to look over and smile it jus now. I didn't settle. I was obedient. It took the one that got away to draw me to the one that was meant for my home. I needed to dream about the one I had seen to open myself to this one.
Anyway...back to obedience.
After I picked up the citrines for me and the amethyst for you guys, had paid for them and he was wrapping them up, I still didn't feel "done." I asked him to hold my stuff for me so I could walk the floor and see if there was something else. I made the rounds and not even a desire or inkling to handle anything else. I swept down and through the aisles so fast, I was amazed at my certainty. I knew there was something left to purchase, but I couldn't deny that it wasn't at any other vendors.
Even before I'd paid for my purchases, I kept wandering around Luis' booth. That's the vendor's name. His card says "Luis and Gloria..." Makes sense we were sympatico. I'm starting to wonder if I should just screen people "do you have a Gloria for a mother or wife? If yes, please call, we'll get along easily."
He smiled when he saw me coming and commented, "you changed your hair." I was surprised he remembered me. Then again, he always has the best selection, so I always spend more than just a passing moment at his booth. And then he followed the comment with a little lip smack and a sigh that hinted at being a bit let down. "Well, I can see your face better." As if that were the only redeeming quality of the new do.
"Thanks a lot. Well, thank you...sorta." It was fun. The curls were indeed a bit tight. Guess we're old friends. I appreciated the honesty. Talk about ensuring a sale.
I kept touching everything, asking about everything, I had a nagging feeling that there was something I was supposed to take home. Couldn't figure it out. That's when I went walking around the rest of the fair. As I walked back, Luis gave a quizzical shoulder raise to see if I'd found anything. I suppose he knows he's got the best stuff of the fair. As I walked toward him, I just waived him off to say, "Nothing. Waste of time."
When I was back at his booth, I was finally able to speak my truth. There was some other stone calling to me and I couldn't tell which one. I sat down in one of his chairs and actually had to ask for higher guidance to give me directions to the right stone.
In case you ever wondered about the degrees of intuitiveness. I was able to figure out that I couldn't leave without it, but there were too many energies melding and blending for me to discern for myself. I imagine if I were you (my highly intuitive friend) I'd have just gone straight to it.
Actually, glad I'm telling the story. I only used that method of asking directions after Luis tried being helpful and asked "is it an amethyst?" "No." "Is it elestial?" Well, it isn't not elestial.
That's when I realized we could play 40 questions all day, and, if I'm gonna use 40 questions instead of just relaxing with it, then I might as well do 40 questions on my own head and cut out the middleman. So I did. Are you on the table or on the platform above it? Are you on the left half or the right half? Before or after the round crystal...? In front of or behind....
And when I got the answer and walked over to it. I looked down and thought, "you???" I tried acting stupid, dumb. As if suddenly my higher guidance wasn't reliable. Suddenly, I couldn't trust myself. "In front of the ball?" I asked again anyway. As if the certainty I had before I walked over and saw it was void and no good just because it didn't look like the kind I like to buy.
I doubted. For a minute. For a few seconds.
No denying it. I bought it. No doubt, the appearance was one of the reasons it was a rather inexpensive piece from that collection. Let's just say, it wasn't conventionally appealing. If it were a woman, it would be like taking home the one your friends are gonna make fun of behind your back. It's shaped like one of those early versions of the pushbutton phone with the square face on a traditional angled body with the receiver fitting across the back, top.
And the best part of all: the confirmation! When I got over myself and looked beyond it's physical form, it initially looked less like a phone and more, on first impressions, like a stone replica of an old-fashioned typewriter. The first words out of my mouth when Luis gave me a look that asked "Are you sure it's this one?" was "Oh, this one's gonna help me with my writing."
I cleaned it, sat in the sun for the day and brought it back in the house around 9:00pm. I was finally feeling a little better, too.
As soon as I brought it in the house, I just held it to my chest. It felt so good, resonant, touch. I guess I do have a need for touch. Actually, that's no surprise. In this moment I can appreciate that what's going on is that I had an unhealthy version of the need to touch with sex and drugs and that what feels at the moment like not needing/wanting human touch is just me re-calibrating to healthy forms of getting that need met and people are a bit further down the road...after I've cleaned up a bit more. Good to know.
This stone felt so good. Kinda like the way I related to the palm tree I wrote about months back. That's the one, by the way that is now in the living room and next to where I intend to sit this stone. And yes the stone is right next to my computer as I type. Better than a dog that licks your face and leaves a mess or chews shoes, but just as affectionate and loyal and loving in energy.
"Are you sure it's this one?"
"Oh, this one's gonna help me with my writing."
And one week later, here I am.
Oh how long it's been
Truly. Over a month.
Finally, I've achieved a bit of breathing space. Adding to all the cleaning I've been doing over the year, the Buick is now gone, sold at auction last Friday. No details forthcoming since the only point is that it took an entire year after the convertible to feel entirely comfortable with it and secure enough that I didn't feel the need to hold on to the old energy of the old car.
That following Saturday, yesterday, I had my carpets cleaned. Oh the joy. I'd forgotten the true beautiful color of my carpet. It looks like new. Sadly, I'd evidently let quite a bit of dirt build up before coming clean. So like the energy work I'm doing. So like how much gunk I allowed to build up on my energy body before I got down and dirty and decided to clear out old useless and grimy impediments to letting my light shine fully in the world.
With all that cleaning going on, I also needed to take some time to just rest in it. To allow the change in energy to settle into my being.
It's done that, so now to the topic that got me back on blog.
I just watched Butterfly Effect. Powerful impact on me. I love the darkside of movies. It's sci-fi. The main character, Ashton Kutcher's character, has stumbled upon the ability to go back and time and change the past in the hopes of effecting a desired change upon his future. Well, not just his future. He wants to change the future for him and the girl he loves.
So, no matter what he does, like any decent feature length film requires, he and the girl never end up happily ever after.
Back to that in a moment.
I also just recently finished reading Mary Shelly's Frankenstein. Nevermind the movies based around it, the book is a good read. I related to the characters immensely. The seething loaners drawn to the arcane knowledge, adventure and lofty goals too fantastic for the average Joe.
As the book winds down to its endind, the hideous, murderous creature comes aboard a ship in the middle of the arctic ocean. On this ship is the dead body of his creator, Frankenstein, who has just told his tale of fantastic horror to the loaner adventurer who at books beginning longed to have a friend, a companion. The Adventurer, Mr. Walton, had hoped that Frankenstein might become that friend.
But that was not to be. Like I said, he dies.
We have learned by the end that the created being, this loathed being, only turned to murder, as it is conveyed, because when he sought out love, at every turn, he was rejected. No matter the goodness in his heart, no matter his doing the greatest of deeds for nothing more than approval and acceptance and a sense of belonging, his fate was to be shunned because of his hideousness.
By the way, if you have not read the book, he is a most eloquent monster.
When the monster comes on board to mourn the passing of his creator, he engages in a conversation of great remorse to Mr. Walton, the loaner longing for a friend. The loaner who is about to have to turn away from his dream of traveling to the North Pole because the shipmates over which he is captain have turned yellow at the first sign of danger and have just made him promise to return to Europe should they manage to extricate themselves from being stuck in the ice--which is the case when Frankenstein dies and his creature engages in remorse.
As I read this, I am overcome with great emotion. It seems so obvious how the conclusion of the novel should proceed. The monster who has, throughout the book, traversed the most inhospitable climates and terrains should obviously offer to assist Mr. Walton in continuing his journey. He had, afterall, attended to Frankenstein during the across-the-world chase when Frankenstein vows to murder his own creation...should he ever manage to catch him...which he does not manage to do in life.
And why would Mr. Walton accept? Well, because at the novel's beginning he is desperate for a friend. It is just too clean. So obvious to me was this conclusion that I am not embarrassed to share that tears rolled down my eyes and I actually had to get up and walk around because it was such a profoundly wonderful ending...that I had imagined. Everyone wins. Sure the creature had killed a few people in revenge, but only when he was rejected by his very creator. Am I the only one who sees room for forgiveness here?
And, true, the creature is made out to be a bit much on the eyes. But if you had read just how desperate this Mr. Walton was for a friend, surely something akin to a berka could not have been too difficult to conceive in time.
After my emotional response to this fairytale imagining of a perfect end to this classic, the real ending left me wanting. If I haven't already spoiled it for you, you can read (or perhaps guess) the actual tale's ending.
Back to Butterfly Effect movie:
By the time Kutcher's character is on the fifth attempt to re-right and re-write his and his true love's future for the happy ending, the unintended tragic consequences have become, for a dark comedy lover such as myself, laugh-out-loud hilarious. I can't believe them. Too rich. So creative on the part of the writer's and producers.
So here's what all that has to do with cleaning house.
I won't spoil that ending for you either. Suffice it to say that it was the same general let down that I had after ending Frankenstein.
But I remembered how much I love dark endings. They have never bothered me before. In fact, in my own experiments with short stories, the climax has always revolved around some sudden courage or twist of fate leaving someone dead. I write trajedy. I've only written trajedy. What's the problem now.
Like I said, I got rid of the old car. My carpets have been cleaned. I'm in a different place.
And then there's my new writing buddy.
Finally, I've achieved a bit of breathing space. Adding to all the cleaning I've been doing over the year, the Buick is now gone, sold at auction last Friday. No details forthcoming since the only point is that it took an entire year after the convertible to feel entirely comfortable with it and secure enough that I didn't feel the need to hold on to the old energy of the old car.
That following Saturday, yesterday, I had my carpets cleaned. Oh the joy. I'd forgotten the true beautiful color of my carpet. It looks like new. Sadly, I'd evidently let quite a bit of dirt build up before coming clean. So like the energy work I'm doing. So like how much gunk I allowed to build up on my energy body before I got down and dirty and decided to clear out old useless and grimy impediments to letting my light shine fully in the world.
With all that cleaning going on, I also needed to take some time to just rest in it. To allow the change in energy to settle into my being.
It's done that, so now to the topic that got me back on blog.
I just watched Butterfly Effect. Powerful impact on me. I love the darkside of movies. It's sci-fi. The main character, Ashton Kutcher's character, has stumbled upon the ability to go back and time and change the past in the hopes of effecting a desired change upon his future. Well, not just his future. He wants to change the future for him and the girl he loves.
So, no matter what he does, like any decent feature length film requires, he and the girl never end up happily ever after.
Back to that in a moment.
I also just recently finished reading Mary Shelly's Frankenstein. Nevermind the movies based around it, the book is a good read. I related to the characters immensely. The seething loaners drawn to the arcane knowledge, adventure and lofty goals too fantastic for the average Joe.
As the book winds down to its endind, the hideous, murderous creature comes aboard a ship in the middle of the arctic ocean. On this ship is the dead body of his creator, Frankenstein, who has just told his tale of fantastic horror to the loaner adventurer who at books beginning longed to have a friend, a companion. The Adventurer, Mr. Walton, had hoped that Frankenstein might become that friend.
But that was not to be. Like I said, he dies.
We have learned by the end that the created being, this loathed being, only turned to murder, as it is conveyed, because when he sought out love, at every turn, he was rejected. No matter the goodness in his heart, no matter his doing the greatest of deeds for nothing more than approval and acceptance and a sense of belonging, his fate was to be shunned because of his hideousness.
By the way, if you have not read the book, he is a most eloquent monster.
When the monster comes on board to mourn the passing of his creator, he engages in a conversation of great remorse to Mr. Walton, the loaner longing for a friend. The loaner who is about to have to turn away from his dream of traveling to the North Pole because the shipmates over which he is captain have turned yellow at the first sign of danger and have just made him promise to return to Europe should they manage to extricate themselves from being stuck in the ice--which is the case when Frankenstein dies and his creature engages in remorse.
As I read this, I am overcome with great emotion. It seems so obvious how the conclusion of the novel should proceed. The monster who has, throughout the book, traversed the most inhospitable climates and terrains should obviously offer to assist Mr. Walton in continuing his journey. He had, afterall, attended to Frankenstein during the across-the-world chase when Frankenstein vows to murder his own creation...should he ever manage to catch him...which he does not manage to do in life.
And why would Mr. Walton accept? Well, because at the novel's beginning he is desperate for a friend. It is just too clean. So obvious to me was this conclusion that I am not embarrassed to share that tears rolled down my eyes and I actually had to get up and walk around because it was such a profoundly wonderful ending...that I had imagined. Everyone wins. Sure the creature had killed a few people in revenge, but only when he was rejected by his very creator. Am I the only one who sees room for forgiveness here?
And, true, the creature is made out to be a bit much on the eyes. But if you had read just how desperate this Mr. Walton was for a friend, surely something akin to a berka could not have been too difficult to conceive in time.
After my emotional response to this fairytale imagining of a perfect end to this classic, the real ending left me wanting. If I haven't already spoiled it for you, you can read (or perhaps guess) the actual tale's ending.
Back to Butterfly Effect movie:
By the time Kutcher's character is on the fifth attempt to re-right and re-write his and his true love's future for the happy ending, the unintended tragic consequences have become, for a dark comedy lover such as myself, laugh-out-loud hilarious. I can't believe them. Too rich. So creative on the part of the writer's and producers.
So here's what all that has to do with cleaning house.
I won't spoil that ending for you either. Suffice it to say that it was the same general let down that I had after ending Frankenstein.
But I remembered how much I love dark endings. They have never bothered me before. In fact, in my own experiments with short stories, the climax has always revolved around some sudden courage or twist of fate leaving someone dead. I write trajedy. I've only written trajedy. What's the problem now.
Like I said, I got rid of the old car. My carpets have been cleaned. I'm in a different place.
And then there's my new writing buddy.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Reiki Symbol Potluck
I was revisiting one of my Reiki books. Just browsing through. I came across the Raku symbol. When I received my Reiki III attunement it was not taught to me. A copy of it was placed in the folder and the instructor went over it's name, but when we did attunements on classmates, using it was not part of the instruction.
Today, I decided to give it a try, to just play with it a while. I'm at the place now with Reiki that I better understand all the different branches of Reiki as people's attempts to make money. Not necessarily from a greedy place or any kind of mal-intent.
It's just that the proliferation of new symbols and flavors of Reiki left me wanting to "maximize" my connection. More and more classes as a way to become a better healer. In search of African-rooted healing symbols, a google quest lead me to Lightarian Reiki. It sounded amazing.
When I looked it up, it was like all the others, something that someone "received" intuitively. I'm in no way poo-pooing intuitive receipt of increased knowledge. I am questioning the need to package it as a "better" Reiki. There are Karuna Reiki folks, Seichem Reiki folks, and I'm sure Lightarian Reiki folks, all getting great and amazing results. I bet there are even incredible Usui Reiki folks doing amazing things.
But back to Raku...
Having looked around at all the various Reiki formats, I decided I'd try using the symbol even though I don't think I was "attuned" with it. Well here's what happened. The symbol danced all around me. It was up and down, almost like sweeping my aura clean and releasing attachments, old cords and out-dated connections.
Powerful! Does that mean when I receive published information on symbols of other Reiki forms I can do them without an attunement? What if I "receive" a new set of symbols? Will I and, more importantly should I, feel compelled to distribute them as a new and improved Reiki?
I am fully aware that I am in no position to answer those questions today. My higher self says I've still got lots to learn before the answers will be clear (we've been talking to each other a lot more directly these days). Which probably means the answer depends on many things. More importantly, it means what others do with symbols they believe they have received is none of my business unless and until the universe makes it my business. Right now, it ain't my business.
The Lightarian Reiki doesn't add new symbols. It holds itself above Usui and Karuna by virtue of intensity and connection to higher vibrations of the same universal energy flow accomplished through intention. Sounds wonderful to me.
Is that really something "new". Is it possible that any Reiki Master of any branch can do enough purification, healing and self-development that the Reiki energy becomes powerful enough to surpass the symbology of Karuna, Seichem and Lightarian Reiki?
And just sitting at the keyboard a while an answer downloads into my mind.
It isn't any different than my pursuit of the original Reiki attunements. On my own I could have increased my connection to universal energy. My healing powers, with intention, would assuredly have grown. What the Reiki attunements offered was a quickening of the path to spiritual and personal growth. Like a worm hole through space, you get to bypass a bit of the usual linear travel time.
Readers should keep in mind that I'm not even two months old as a Reiki Master. I haven't yet fully explored the minimum possibilities of Dai Ko Myo. Then again, I'm coming to terms with past lives in healing work, and inherently appreciate that all roads lead to spiritual Rome.
Even with an innate of understanding of that fact, I can't deny that in my dreams, I fantasize myself destined to discover an ancient West African symbology of universal energy.
Today, I decided to give it a try, to just play with it a while. I'm at the place now with Reiki that I better understand all the different branches of Reiki as people's attempts to make money. Not necessarily from a greedy place or any kind of mal-intent.
It's just that the proliferation of new symbols and flavors of Reiki left me wanting to "maximize" my connection. More and more classes as a way to become a better healer. In search of African-rooted healing symbols, a google quest lead me to Lightarian Reiki. It sounded amazing.
When I looked it up, it was like all the others, something that someone "received" intuitively. I'm in no way poo-pooing intuitive receipt of increased knowledge. I am questioning the need to package it as a "better" Reiki. There are Karuna Reiki folks, Seichem Reiki folks, and I'm sure Lightarian Reiki folks, all getting great and amazing results. I bet there are even incredible Usui Reiki folks doing amazing things.
But back to Raku...
Having looked around at all the various Reiki formats, I decided I'd try using the symbol even though I don't think I was "attuned" with it. Well here's what happened. The symbol danced all around me. It was up and down, almost like sweeping my aura clean and releasing attachments, old cords and out-dated connections.
Powerful! Does that mean when I receive published information on symbols of other Reiki forms I can do them without an attunement? What if I "receive" a new set of symbols? Will I and, more importantly should I, feel compelled to distribute them as a new and improved Reiki?
I am fully aware that I am in no position to answer those questions today. My higher self says I've still got lots to learn before the answers will be clear (we've been talking to each other a lot more directly these days). Which probably means the answer depends on many things. More importantly, it means what others do with symbols they believe they have received is none of my business unless and until the universe makes it my business. Right now, it ain't my business.
The Lightarian Reiki doesn't add new symbols. It holds itself above Usui and Karuna by virtue of intensity and connection to higher vibrations of the same universal energy flow accomplished through intention. Sounds wonderful to me.
Is that really something "new". Is it possible that any Reiki Master of any branch can do enough purification, healing and self-development that the Reiki energy becomes powerful enough to surpass the symbology of Karuna, Seichem and Lightarian Reiki?
And just sitting at the keyboard a while an answer downloads into my mind.
It isn't any different than my pursuit of the original Reiki attunements. On my own I could have increased my connection to universal energy. My healing powers, with intention, would assuredly have grown. What the Reiki attunements offered was a quickening of the path to spiritual and personal growth. Like a worm hole through space, you get to bypass a bit of the usual linear travel time.
Readers should keep in mind that I'm not even two months old as a Reiki Master. I haven't yet fully explored the minimum possibilities of Dai Ko Myo. Then again, I'm coming to terms with past lives in healing work, and inherently appreciate that all roads lead to spiritual Rome.
Even with an innate of understanding of that fact, I can't deny that in my dreams, I fantasize myself destined to discover an ancient West African symbology of universal energy.
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