Expectations

I went to the Tucson Gem Fair expecting to be awed. I was. It was exactly as I had imagine, but the experience was nothing like I'd expected.

The short version:
Though the trip spanned four days, I was only able to spend two of them shopping for gemstones. It was overwhelming. I didn't even make it into the convention center or the expo center to see the big dealers. I made it to more than a dozen of the nearly fifty shows, including several hotels that were set-up like mini-faires unto themselves.

I purchased just under ten pieces and found three of the five hard-to-find items I was seeking. Next time I'll plan a longer trip and set clearer goals. Turns out the fairs that swing through the Los Angeles area, while relatively tiny compared to the scale of the Tucson event, can probably meet nearly all my gem needs. As huge as the Tucson event was, it didn't offer a huge selection of the hard-to-find pieces.

The trip's greatest value was in helping me clarify what I am and am not. I'm not a buyer for gifts and I'm not a wholesaler (knew that one).

I'm also not a collector. I don't have the perspective of "collector" since I'm not looking at them in terms of their material value or unique physical attributes. I am only guessing, but I think the motivation of "collectors" is usually about owning the rare piece because of what it says about the collector's prowess, power or wealth.

Post-Tucson I'm clearer that my gems and I are about relationships. How we help each other on our mutual journeys. Those that belong to me will come to me. All the rest...I can still look and admire them for their unique qualities, their particular beauty and on and on, but ultimately, the universe does a fantastic job of bringing together that to which I belong and which belongs to me.

...

When I drove into Tuscon, I saw a string of outdoor shows off the freeway. It took several hours before I made my way over to the location, walking around. I'd bought a couple pieces and was just overwhelmed by the hundreds of booths I'd passed just in those couple of hours. Nearly in a stupor, I just let my glazed eyes land where they wanted, my feet moved as they pleased, dragging me along till my consciousness could catch up.

Amid all these crystals, I saw a flash of light. One of them caught the sun and seemed to wink at me. I walked directly to it. After looking it over, holding it a while, I knew it was one of the pieces I'd come all that way to take home.

It's a trans-channeling clear quartz with a surrounded crystal that grew into one of the faces. It reminds me of a diver jumping into the deep end. It looks like the smaller crystal was plunging into deep waters, diving directly through the primary facet. There's a bit of chlorite in it as well. It has a very powerful energy, a strong but supportive personality.

We resonate with each other. It seems impossible that the sun could have been anywhere else in the sky when I passed by, moving at any other speed, hitting her face at any other angle. How on earth did she manage to get me to walk directly to her? I passed tens of thousands of crystals that afternoon, maybe hundreds of thousands. That one, I was drawn to.

The proverbial eyes meeting across a crowded room.

And how did I know she was special. After I had her in my bag, I knew immediately that if I bought nothing else for the rest of the show, I'd have done what I needed to do on that trip.