Posts
I'm enjoying The Police's "Don't Stand So Close To Me" for the first time in months. Hate that I had to give away my tickets to their reunion concert a couple years back. Although, considering there was no clamor for an extended or second tour, I guess it's just as well that I enjoy the oozing sexual tension from their digitized youth.
"You know how bad girls get..."
I'll probably play it five or six times before I move on to "De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da".** (Greatest Hits CD)
Two, ok maybe three years ago, I bought a mega-MP3 so I could store all my ancient music in one convenient place and ditch the five-CD changer that makes rather loud clicking sounds when it switches from one CD to the next. A few months ago the smaller version I take with me on my walks was dropped in mud or water, muddy water I suppose.
You know how some folks will go to the refrigerator every couple hours or so to see if there's anything good to eat? No one's gone shopping, nothing's been added or taken away, and yet there's a return every few hours to see if there's something newly appealing or interesting in there after all. And then on the third or fourth opening and closing, the sighs begin to get audible, maybe a curse word or two lamenting that nothing has magically appeared. I do that sometimes.
Over the last few months I've plugged in the small MP3, charged it up and tried to turn it on. I did it a couple months ago and again today. When charging didn't do much, I tried wiping off the lingering muddy water streaks. Kinda like trying to wash death out and life in or applying electric shock to a corpse days after death has visited and gone.
I haven't walked with music all summer and today was to be the day. Fall is in the air and four additional pounds on my body. I love walking at dusk when the sun makes its way further south during the fall. I take the winter off and then back out in the spring when the sun comes back to kiss the wet away.
Glorious incentive! I charged up the dusty new mega MP3, loaded the software, transferred the 557 musical files and four hours later I sit here disturbing the silence with my sing-alongs.
Feels so good to use what I've purchased, I'm planning to reload my router's software so that I can free myself from the data-ready phone line in the back room.
A perfect early fall evening...come home from work, walk chocolate, drop him back at home and then give myself an extended walk with music and then settle in at the desk surfing and writing...and disturbing the silence with my singing.
** my favorite lines from De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da
Poets, priests and politicians
Have words to thank for their positions
Words that scream for your submission
And no-one's jamming their transmission
And when their eloquence escapes you
Their logic ties you up and rapes you
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Fasting
In all my postings about changing my relationship to relationships, I give credit to courses I've taken, energy healing and to my ability to manifest what matters to me. I've never mentioned fasting.
I love fasting! There was a short period in the late 90's when I belonged to a Church of God in Christ (COGIC). The pastor was a faster. Effectively! I'm impressed by results. And he looked great! Fasting was encouraged for both church and personal goals, spiritual and physical.
Fasting wasn't new to me. As a child, I'd watched Muslim family members observe Ramadan as well as fast periodically to cleanse the body. It wasn't a big stretch to take it on when Pastor Hill preached its virtues.
Back in 1999, my COGIC days, I once fasted for three days, having only water and a little juice or tea on the third day. The second day was rough, but the third day was fabulous. I was tired, but not fatigued; my mind was clear and my heart felt pure. Lovely!
Although I left COGIC, I continued to fast for both spiritual and material benefit. I remember fasting in 1999 for a condo I wanted to buy. It was perfect, 3 bedrooms, one a loft, high ceilings, huge deck and lots of natural light. I fasted and prayed and hoped and hoped, but also added that I only wanted it if it was God's Will and the right place.
My offer wasn't accepted. I took the next day off to recover from my crushed dream and called the realtor to see what had come up on the market in the three weeks I'd spent praying, fasting, hoping and waiting for the one that fell through. Three or four hours later we walked into this place I've now lived for ten years. I fell in love with it on sight. From that moment on, fasting has been a big part of my life. Yet, until now, I've not shared about it.
I've shared so much about Landmark Education, reiki, crystals and so on. The truth is that when I decided to create a committed relationship, I prayed about it and asked what kind of fasting would have me clear out the spiritual, mental and emotional debris that always gets in the way.
Oh yeah, a little detail...Sometimes a suggested fast finds it's way to my inner ear and I either say yeah or nay. Other times, I'll have an outcome in mind, a particular request, and I'll ask that inner voice what's recommended.
When I inquired internally for a fasting regimen to create the relationship I wanted, I heard 20 Mondays before my birthday. I don't remember when I prayed about the fasting recommendation or exactly when the answer came, but I know the first Monday was December 1, 2008. Glad I calendared it! The 20th Monday happened sometime in June. (They were generally midnight to midnight, but a few were 8am-8pm.)
In a conversation with a friend a few days ago, I shared that the stories of people, situations, movies and media are incredibly transparent for me of late. I mentioned again that while I have the converter box my Mom didn't need sitting in a closet ready to install, I haven't had a functioning television since they switched to digital in June. Haven't missed it much, either. "No wonder," he says, "you've fasted media and now you've got this gift of seeing things transparently."
I hadn't thought of it as "fasting" since it wasn't intentional or deliberate. That's happened before, though. I'll get super busy and not make time to eat and then decide to turn it into a fast. So, yes, let's make it a fast. I'll finally get satellite or something when the new school year starts, making the fast from television the entire summer break.
If you haven't fasted before, try it out. For me it goes hand-in-hand with prayer, but take it on however works for you. You feel better, your skin gets healthier and it enhances any weight loss activities.
What got me thinking about fasting this morning were thoughts of gifts, giving, finances and tithing. I'm fasting wasteful spending for my 43rd year. Ouch! That one's gonna hurt. I'll be spending the next couple days praying over exactly what that's going to look like.
The spiritual aspect is in unearthing and clearing out the hidden scripts and imperatives of which wasteful spending is a symptom. I can't wait.
**If there are any friends or family wondering why I didn't share about the 20 days of fasting sooner, it was simply because I was also fasting blabbing about it. There were times I wanted to share it, but it felt pretty clear that the instruction was to keep it to myself until it ended. It strikes me as peculiarly obedient that even though the actual fast was completed in June, the designated fasting period was until my birthday, and I was only moved to share about it now that the last Monday before my b-day has passed.
Obedience is highly underrated.
I love fasting! There was a short period in the late 90's when I belonged to a Church of God in Christ (COGIC). The pastor was a faster. Effectively! I'm impressed by results. And he looked great! Fasting was encouraged for both church and personal goals, spiritual and physical.
Fasting wasn't new to me. As a child, I'd watched Muslim family members observe Ramadan as well as fast periodically to cleanse the body. It wasn't a big stretch to take it on when Pastor Hill preached its virtues.
Back in 1999, my COGIC days, I once fasted for three days, having only water and a little juice or tea on the third day. The second day was rough, but the third day was fabulous. I was tired, but not fatigued; my mind was clear and my heart felt pure. Lovely!
Although I left COGIC, I continued to fast for both spiritual and material benefit. I remember fasting in 1999 for a condo I wanted to buy. It was perfect, 3 bedrooms, one a loft, high ceilings, huge deck and lots of natural light. I fasted and prayed and hoped and hoped, but also added that I only wanted it if it was God's Will and the right place.
My offer wasn't accepted. I took the next day off to recover from my crushed dream and called the realtor to see what had come up on the market in the three weeks I'd spent praying, fasting, hoping and waiting for the one that fell through. Three or four hours later we walked into this place I've now lived for ten years. I fell in love with it on sight. From that moment on, fasting has been a big part of my life. Yet, until now, I've not shared about it.
I've shared so much about Landmark Education, reiki, crystals and so on. The truth is that when I decided to create a committed relationship, I prayed about it and asked what kind of fasting would have me clear out the spiritual, mental and emotional debris that always gets in the way.
Oh yeah, a little detail...Sometimes a suggested fast finds it's way to my inner ear and I either say yeah or nay. Other times, I'll have an outcome in mind, a particular request, and I'll ask that inner voice what's recommended.
When I inquired internally for a fasting regimen to create the relationship I wanted, I heard 20 Mondays before my birthday. I don't remember when I prayed about the fasting recommendation or exactly when the answer came, but I know the first Monday was December 1, 2008. Glad I calendared it! The 20th Monday happened sometime in June. (They were generally midnight to midnight, but a few were 8am-8pm.)
In a conversation with a friend a few days ago, I shared that the stories of people, situations, movies and media are incredibly transparent for me of late. I mentioned again that while I have the converter box my Mom didn't need sitting in a closet ready to install, I haven't had a functioning television since they switched to digital in June. Haven't missed it much, either. "No wonder," he says, "you've fasted media and now you've got this gift of seeing things transparently."
I hadn't thought of it as "fasting" since it wasn't intentional or deliberate. That's happened before, though. I'll get super busy and not make time to eat and then decide to turn it into a fast. So, yes, let's make it a fast. I'll finally get satellite or something when the new school year starts, making the fast from television the entire summer break.
If you haven't fasted before, try it out. For me it goes hand-in-hand with prayer, but take it on however works for you. You feel better, your skin gets healthier and it enhances any weight loss activities.
What got me thinking about fasting this morning were thoughts of gifts, giving, finances and tithing. I'm fasting wasteful spending for my 43rd year. Ouch! That one's gonna hurt. I'll be spending the next couple days praying over exactly what that's going to look like.
The spiritual aspect is in unearthing and clearing out the hidden scripts and imperatives of which wasteful spending is a symptom. I can't wait.
**If there are any friends or family wondering why I didn't share about the 20 days of fasting sooner, it was simply because I was also fasting blabbing about it. There were times I wanted to share it, but it felt pretty clear that the instruction was to keep it to myself until it ended. It strikes me as peculiarly obedient that even though the actual fast was completed in June, the designated fasting period was until my birthday, and I was only moved to share about it now that the last Monday before my b-day has passed.
Obedience is highly underrated.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Intimacy
Yesterday I noted that I'd taken eight* courses within the past year through Landmark Education. I finished the eighth last night--Sex and Intimacy.
The best thing I got out of that class happened during an exercise in which we uncovered what was the most likely future in the area of sex and intimacy if we continued to what we've always done.
The vivid images that came to mind brought me freedom. In one, I was 65 and lived in the "downtown" area of a lazy town or small city. I owned a downstairs storefront, probably a bookstore, and made my home in the large loft above surrounded by books and tons of favorite things. I imagined myself walking over to a window to listen in on a conversation taking place below. My gentleman friend was engaged in a conversation with a passerby or customer. He was friendly, full of energy, vibrant. I knew him to be a doting, caring man.
As I looked below and gazed at him fondly, I thought, "Wow! He's such a nice man. I really like him. He's wonderful to have around...Too bad he's..."
There's always a "too bad...", followed by an exit.
The exercise in class continued, I next saw myself in my late 80's living in a senior community. A new guy. Once again, my thoughts were "He's great. So sweet and giving and kind...Too bad he doesn't..." My exit cue.
Suddenly, there was clarity. I'm like a baker who creates a perfect tiramisu but then gets focused in on how the cocoa didn't fall just right on the plate in some sort of clearly distinguishable and pleasing pattern. "Look at that, there's a wee bit more cocoa on the left and front than on back and right. Almost perfect, though! Almost!"
I realized I was totally OK with it. My likely future was one where I'd keep dismissing great lovers because I found some one or two dissatisfying things about them. Seems odd, but I found that future not-so-bad. There's always someone around for me to find slightly dissatisfying.
And that created a breakthrough for me. When it wasn't so bad to live a lifetime of finding each successive partner slightly dissatisfying, I got over my fear of being stuck with some one dissatisfying person. In other words, since what I'm going to be is dissatisfied with something, since I'm looking for what's not perfect, I can stop letting what's not perfect make any difference or mean anything. In embracing my habit of mind to be dissatisfied, I have the freedom to enjoy what is satisfying.
Joy and Heaven and Love...sweet freedom.
The simplicity of not requiring absolute perfection in order to experience the thrill, the love. Now there's freedom and joy, even fulfillment, in relishing the way there's just a wee more cocoa on the left and front. Sure, I could make another, but then maybe the next has a wee more cocoa on right...or clumps on top. Now that I know that even if the cocoa fell evenly and perfectly on the tiramisu's top and sides, I'd just notice that the marscapone wasn't perfectly lined top to bottom when it was sliced.
Thanks to that exercise, now I get to take a few moments to look the tiramisu over, appreciate the perfect imperfections and dig in to enjoy the delicious taste and texture.
----
On my love of Tiramisu...
Almost nine years ago to the day, I'd spent a day on my own hanging out around Jerusalem during a ten day trip through Israel and Egypt. I decided to dine at Italian restaurant called Cielo before whatever it was I did with the rest of the evening. I don't remember what I did after I left Cielo. I don't remember what I ate there or had to drink. All I remember of that night was the Tiramisu. The chef whipped tiny specks of divine chocolate into the marscapone topping. Just as one of these tiny flakes of chocolate would register and my mouth began to savor it, it'd be gone. And then another would do the same. Like a perfectly choreographed interpretive dance created for the tongue's delight. The recollection makes my eyes widen and mouth water. Many physical sensations come up with that memory!
Yeaaaaaaah. So now relationships are like enjoying the perfect Tiramisu over and over and over again.
The best thing I got out of that class happened during an exercise in which we uncovered what was the most likely future in the area of sex and intimacy if we continued to what we've always done.
The vivid images that came to mind brought me freedom. In one, I was 65 and lived in the "downtown" area of a lazy town or small city. I owned a downstairs storefront, probably a bookstore, and made my home in the large loft above surrounded by books and tons of favorite things. I imagined myself walking over to a window to listen in on a conversation taking place below. My gentleman friend was engaged in a conversation with a passerby or customer. He was friendly, full of energy, vibrant. I knew him to be a doting, caring man.
As I looked below and gazed at him fondly, I thought, "Wow! He's such a nice man. I really like him. He's wonderful to have around...Too bad he's..."
There's always a "too bad...", followed by an exit.
The exercise in class continued, I next saw myself in my late 80's living in a senior community. A new guy. Once again, my thoughts were "He's great. So sweet and giving and kind...Too bad he doesn't..." My exit cue.
Suddenly, there was clarity. I'm like a baker who creates a perfect tiramisu but then gets focused in on how the cocoa didn't fall just right on the plate in some sort of clearly distinguishable and pleasing pattern. "Look at that, there's a wee bit more cocoa on the left and front than on back and right. Almost perfect, though! Almost!"
I realized I was totally OK with it. My likely future was one where I'd keep dismissing great lovers because I found some one or two dissatisfying things about them. Seems odd, but I found that future not-so-bad. There's always someone around for me to find slightly dissatisfying.
And that created a breakthrough for me. When it wasn't so bad to live a lifetime of finding each successive partner slightly dissatisfying, I got over my fear of being stuck with some one dissatisfying person. In other words, since what I'm going to be is dissatisfied with something, since I'm looking for what's not perfect, I can stop letting what's not perfect make any difference or mean anything. In embracing my habit of mind to be dissatisfied, I have the freedom to enjoy what is satisfying.
Joy and Heaven and Love...sweet freedom.
The simplicity of not requiring absolute perfection in order to experience the thrill, the love. Now there's freedom and joy, even fulfillment, in relishing the way there's just a wee more cocoa on the left and front. Sure, I could make another, but then maybe the next has a wee more cocoa on right...or clumps on top. Now that I know that even if the cocoa fell evenly and perfectly on the tiramisu's top and sides, I'd just notice that the marscapone wasn't perfectly lined top to bottom when it was sliced.
Thanks to that exercise, now I get to take a few moments to look the tiramisu over, appreciate the perfect imperfections and dig in to enjoy the delicious taste and texture.
----
On my love of Tiramisu...
Almost nine years ago to the day, I'd spent a day on my own hanging out around Jerusalem during a ten day trip through Israel and Egypt. I decided to dine at Italian restaurant called Cielo before whatever it was I did with the rest of the evening. I don't remember what I did after I left Cielo. I don't remember what I ate there or had to drink. All I remember of that night was the Tiramisu. The chef whipped tiny specks of divine chocolate into the marscapone topping. Just as one of these tiny flakes of chocolate would register and my mouth began to savor it, it'd be gone. And then another would do the same. Like a perfectly choreographed interpretive dance created for the tongue's delight. The recollection makes my eyes widen and mouth water. Many physical sensations come up with that memory!
Yeaaaaaaah. So now relationships are like enjoying the perfect Tiramisu over and over and over again.
Monday, August 17, 2009
The Thirty Days Experiment
What would it look like if I stopped worrying about what it looked like? What if instead of waiting till I had time to make it all sound just so or waiting till I felt I had something profoundly insightful to share, I simply shared? It'd look like the next 30 blogs.
I turn 43 in a few days. Forty-two was a great year, but I expect 43 to be even better. Of all the things that have happened during my 42nd trip around the sun, my favorite is moving from I to E. I took my first personality test in high school and consistently tested as an introvert. A few months ago I took the Jung-Enneagram test at www.similarminds.com and was surprised to see an "E" where an "I" had always been. ENTP--Extrovert, Intuitive, Thinking and Perceiving. I wasn't expecting that!
I'll be completing my eighth course with Landmark Education shortly. August 15th was the 1-year anniversary of taking the initial course--The Landmark Forum. What'd I get from all those classes?
When I started:
*I'd just taken on dating with purpose but mostly dismissed anyone I went out with after the first date unless they were quicker and dismissed me first.
*I showed up late most places.
*I rarely accepted without anxiety invitations to social gatherings.
*As much as I enjoy teaching, I spent a lot of energy analyzing how the school wasn't run properly, other teachers were too this or too that and the students didn't know how to do school.
*And even as I recognized that I had a gift for energy healing and work with crystals, only passed on Reiki as a healing tool to two people.
In this year, I created my ideal mate and allowed this relationship to flourish in new ways with ease and joy. I'm not yet someone who shows up early, but I am more likely to be only five minutes late if I'm late at all. I've signed up for a photography course that begins next week, something I've always wanted to do.
Of course, their's plenty that I thought I'd do while 43, but didn't. In October I repromised to myself that I'd get my finances on Quicken and use it religiously. Didn't! I'm taking that on again this week. I'll let you know how it goes.
I also planned to write my Luzca book, but haven't done much with it in five months. The almost-funny thing is that when I signed up for The Landmark Forum last August, it was to help me get my book written. In time, perhaps. In half the classes, I say I'm going to use what I learn to help me produce more writing...and then I transform some other area in my life.
They say a writer's home is never as clean as when they have to write. The prospect of writing this past year was incentive to work on everything else, transforming all hidden parts of my soul and spirit. Maybe that's as it should be.
Another blessing I'm celebrating on this anniversary of taking The Landmark Forum is the peace I now take with me everywhere, in every situation. Events, situation or people no longer cause me anxiety from my distaste of being an imperfect creature. I say yes to invitations effortlessly and easily, no worries about doing it wrong or being judged. That single result alone is priceless.
Here's my current fave: I am now a teaching Reiki Master. A few days ago I accepted my first paying client. A year ago I'd only passed Reiki energy healing along to my mother and a close friend who is also an acupuncturist and massage therapist. Now, I've attuned a dozen friends and family and am committing to taking it on as a business. For some crazy reason, I didn't want to charge anyone. Nevermind I found it valuable enough to spend money on getting reiki, I had some block around charging others. Considering the results I get from it, seems silly. Sure, at first glance, there's an admirable quality to not charging others if I don't need the income per se. But it also means I've no incentive to truly develop and share this remarkable tool for physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.
Plus, there's something to be said for assigning value and having people exchange a representative amount of energy for what they receive. As great as the results I gained from Landmark, Reiki is what had me get off a variety of medications, heal unworkable patterns and drop 25 of the thirty pounds I lost over the last couple years. The results I gained in Landmark were atop the foundation of being energetically balanced.
Now I am ready to pass the gift of balanced energy and healing along to others in the form of classes for Reiki I, II and III. I'm working on the workbook I'll use and give to clients and creating a website.
I'm so excited.
Mmmmmmmm. Picture me stopping by God's office, peaking in with a smile from the doorway. "You were right, it is fun. Guess I got a little anxious there in my late twenties...Sure, 43 more sounds amazing!"
I turn 43 in a few days. Forty-two was a great year, but I expect 43 to be even better. Of all the things that have happened during my 42nd trip around the sun, my favorite is moving from I to E. I took my first personality test in high school and consistently tested as an introvert. A few months ago I took the Jung-Enneagram test at www.similarminds.com and was surprised to see an "E" where an "I" had always been. ENTP--Extrovert, Intuitive, Thinking and Perceiving. I wasn't expecting that!
I'll be completing my eighth course with Landmark Education shortly. August 15th was the 1-year anniversary of taking the initial course--The Landmark Forum. What'd I get from all those classes?
When I started:
*I'd just taken on dating with purpose but mostly dismissed anyone I went out with after the first date unless they were quicker and dismissed me first.
*I showed up late most places.
*I rarely accepted without anxiety invitations to social gatherings.
*As much as I enjoy teaching, I spent a lot of energy analyzing how the school wasn't run properly, other teachers were too this or too that and the students didn't know how to do school.
*And even as I recognized that I had a gift for energy healing and work with crystals, only passed on Reiki as a healing tool to two people.
In this year, I created my ideal mate and allowed this relationship to flourish in new ways with ease and joy. I'm not yet someone who shows up early, but I am more likely to be only five minutes late if I'm late at all. I've signed up for a photography course that begins next week, something I've always wanted to do.
Of course, their's plenty that I thought I'd do while 43, but didn't. In October I repromised to myself that I'd get my finances on Quicken and use it religiously. Didn't! I'm taking that on again this week. I'll let you know how it goes.
I also planned to write my Luzca book, but haven't done much with it in five months. The almost-funny thing is that when I signed up for The Landmark Forum last August, it was to help me get my book written. In time, perhaps. In half the classes, I say I'm going to use what I learn to help me produce more writing...and then I transform some other area in my life.
They say a writer's home is never as clean as when they have to write. The prospect of writing this past year was incentive to work on everything else, transforming all hidden parts of my soul and spirit. Maybe that's as it should be.
Another blessing I'm celebrating on this anniversary of taking The Landmark Forum is the peace I now take with me everywhere, in every situation. Events, situation or people no longer cause me anxiety from my distaste of being an imperfect creature. I say yes to invitations effortlessly and easily, no worries about doing it wrong or being judged. That single result alone is priceless.
Here's my current fave: I am now a teaching Reiki Master. A few days ago I accepted my first paying client. A year ago I'd only passed Reiki energy healing along to my mother and a close friend who is also an acupuncturist and massage therapist. Now, I've attuned a dozen friends and family and am committing to taking it on as a business. For some crazy reason, I didn't want to charge anyone. Nevermind I found it valuable enough to spend money on getting reiki, I had some block around charging others. Considering the results I get from it, seems silly. Sure, at first glance, there's an admirable quality to not charging others if I don't need the income per se. But it also means I've no incentive to truly develop and share this remarkable tool for physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.
Plus, there's something to be said for assigning value and having people exchange a representative amount of energy for what they receive. As great as the results I gained from Landmark, Reiki is what had me get off a variety of medications, heal unworkable patterns and drop 25 of the thirty pounds I lost over the last couple years. The results I gained in Landmark were atop the foundation of being energetically balanced.
Now I am ready to pass the gift of balanced energy and healing along to others in the form of classes for Reiki I, II and III. I'm working on the workbook I'll use and give to clients and creating a website.
I'm so excited.
Mmmmmmmm. Picture me stopping by God's office, peaking in with a smile from the doorway. "You were right, it is fun. Guess I got a little anxious there in my late twenties...Sure, 43 more sounds amazing!"
Thursday, August 13, 2009
15 Books
A literary friend suggested compiling a list of 15 books as a facebook note. I did. After I completed it, I saw that it was a mirror of Who I AM. I'd like to share it. Some are fiction, some are reference, some are religious. All of them are philosophical. Mmmmmmm. The pleasure to be found in contemplating the experience of human Being.
1. Illusions--Richard Bach
2. Atlas Shrugged--Ayn Rand
3. The Fountainhead--Ayn Rand
4. The Prophet--Kahlil Gibran
5. The Little Prince--Antoine de Saint Exupery
6. One--Richard Bach
7. Ecclesiastes--The Bible
8. Essential Reiki--Diane Stein
9l. Feng Shui for Dummies--David Daniel Kennedy
9. Tipping Point--Malcolm Gladwell
10. Their Eyes Were Watching God--Zora Neale Hurston
11. Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow --Eleanor Alexander
12. 1984 --George Orwell
13. A Course in Miracles --Foundation for Inner Peace
14, Siddhartha--Hermann Hesse
15. In Search of The Healing Energy--Mary Coddington
Re-reading the list reminds me what I stand for in the world.
1. Illusions--Richard Bach
2. Atlas Shrugged--Ayn Rand
3. The Fountainhead--Ayn Rand
4. The Prophet--Kahlil Gibran
5. The Little Prince--Antoine de Saint Exupery
6. One--Richard Bach
7. Ecclesiastes--The Bible
8. Essential Reiki--Diane Stein
9l. Feng Shui for Dummies--David Daniel Kennedy
9. Tipping Point--Malcolm Gladwell
10. Their Eyes Were Watching God--Zora Neale Hurston
11. Lyrics of Sunshine and Shadow --Eleanor Alexander
12. 1984 --George Orwell
13. A Course in Miracles --Foundation for Inner Peace
14, Siddhartha--Hermann Hesse
15. In Search of The Healing Energy--Mary Coddington
Re-reading the list reminds me what I stand for in the world.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Coincidental Love
I had the pleasure of being loved powerfully yesterday. It's such a circle. Love's power flows in an unpredictable, ever-expanding, unbreakable circle. A circle that flows in and out of heaven and earth.
I was in Los Angeles taking a Landmark Communication Course. My Aunt Janice was taking The Landmark Forum upstairs. We'd seen each other about a year ago at my Aunt Mildred's 50th wedding anniversary. Before that, almost a decade.
On Saturday I wrote a short love note to let her know I was thinking of her. Sometime Sunday afternoon, our breaks from our respective courses coincided and we had a chance to connect. She shared the unexpected impact of my note. She received it as pure love. She returned the same in the extended embrace when we saw each other.
And none of it would have been possible without my late great Aunt Lucinda. She's the one who came to me and inspired me to write a book (that's nowhere near done) which inspired me to look through an old family reunion book for authentic turn-of-the-20th century black names...which caused me to say yes to a chance invitation to spend part of Thanksgiving with my paternal relatives...which caused me to be at my aunt's 50th wedding anniversary and get reacquainted with Angela...who took a stand that I take The Landmark Forum. She took the stand when she said, "When you sign-up tell me when you're doing it. I'll come out and take it with you." From Delaware? "Yes!"
About a year later, five or six Landmark courses later...my Aunt Janice and I have the sweetest embrace in the lobby on father's day. I'm sure it was the best present my father, Robert, aka Bubba, could possibly have enjoyed from Heaven.
Funny thing about the universe. My maternal Aunt Linda and paternal Aunt Janice end up in the same seminar and in the same small group within the seminar.
Aunt Linda: "You're from Long Beach? What do you do?" She thought Janice looked familiar.
Aunt Janice: "I teach at Poly."
Aunt Linda: "No kiddng. My niece teaches in Long Beach. Her name is Robin..."
Aunt Janice: "That's MY niece!"
I love my ever growing life!
I was in Los Angeles taking a Landmark Communication Course. My Aunt Janice was taking The Landmark Forum upstairs. We'd seen each other about a year ago at my Aunt Mildred's 50th wedding anniversary. Before that, almost a decade.
On Saturday I wrote a short love note to let her know I was thinking of her. Sometime Sunday afternoon, our breaks from our respective courses coincided and we had a chance to connect. She shared the unexpected impact of my note. She received it as pure love. She returned the same in the extended embrace when we saw each other.
And none of it would have been possible without my late great Aunt Lucinda. She's the one who came to me and inspired me to write a book (that's nowhere near done) which inspired me to look through an old family reunion book for authentic turn-of-the-20th century black names...which caused me to say yes to a chance invitation to spend part of Thanksgiving with my paternal relatives...which caused me to be at my aunt's 50th wedding anniversary and get reacquainted with Angela...who took a stand that I take The Landmark Forum. She took the stand when she said, "When you sign-up tell me when you're doing it. I'll come out and take it with you." From Delaware? "Yes!"
About a year later, five or six Landmark courses later...my Aunt Janice and I have the sweetest embrace in the lobby on father's day. I'm sure it was the best present my father, Robert, aka Bubba, could possibly have enjoyed from Heaven.
Funny thing about the universe. My maternal Aunt Linda and paternal Aunt Janice end up in the same seminar and in the same small group within the seminar.
Aunt Linda: "You're from Long Beach? What do you do?" She thought Janice looked familiar.
Aunt Janice: "I teach at Poly."
Aunt Linda: "No kiddng. My niece teaches in Long Beach. Her name is Robin..."
Aunt Janice: "That's MY niece!"
I love my ever growing life!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Helllllllooooooooooooo. Been a while since I posted. School is out next Friday. Yeaaaaaaaaah!!!!! Then there's more time. I'll be back online posting. I might even clear my inbox on all my email accounts down to zero. Might??? I WILL!!! I'm giddy with anticipation for a summer spent walking, chilling in my new infrared sauna and continuing to participate in Landmark Education programs. Me and my new honey are taking a couple of them together. More about that coming when I have more time to write. Wanted to share this email. It's verbatim as I sent it. It was to the members of one of the courses I'm taking about a breakthrough I had after we did our third weekend together--25 of the 150 or so that shared the third of four weekends spread out over 6 months. I'll be back
I said, “Good Morning.”
After a pause and faint gasp, the voice on the other end of the phone
responded with “You sound like God’s receptionist!”
That’s how the conversation with my buddy of 17 years started when I
called this morning on my way to work. He was the first person to hear
my voice the morning after disappearing BEING a failure.
We’ve talked almost every day since 1993 after a year or so of warming
up to one another. Sometimes it’s only five or ten minutes. Aside from
the times when either of us are on vacation, we must have a running
average of at least an hour a day…17 years of hearing my voice. He’s
heard my highs, my lows, my insights and my insanity. In fact, he knows
my voice so well, he can practically tell me what I’ve just eaten, whom
I’ve just spoken with or what I’d been doing from the first words I
speak over the phone. He’s off-the-charts intuitive, insightful and
colorfully articulate. He has me at hello.
The morning after the third weekend, after only “Good morning,” he heard
a new calm, a new peace, a new level of confidence and power that
inspired “You sound like God’s receptionist!” He likes to describe
things. Just in “Good Morning” he claims to have heard an “absence of
jibber jabber”. He’s the kind of person who hates when someone answers
“Fine” and hates more people who idly ask “How are you?” without
genuine interest.
Whatever we did this weekend caused how I occurred for him, down to the
timber and tone of my voice to shift.
That’s pretty doggone huge. I had asked several of you if you could
take my assisting agreement this evening. I have a scheduling conflict.
The conflict left me up-in-the-air and I was starting to be in this
space where there is confusion, anxiety and failure. Sometime last
night, things got clear. What I have is a prior commitment and a new
commitment. Being only one body, I’ll only be able to do one. There’s
no being failure. There’s only failure to be at one of the two places.
There was nothing left to do except perform. In this case performance
shows up as either successfully finding someone who will switch
agreements this week or making alternative arrangements for the new
commitment. I'm one person with demands to be in two places. There’s no confusion. I won't be at one or the other. A breakdown in performance.
That was last night.
This morning I sound like the kind of being who could handle the
incoming calls of angels, archangels, saints, spirits and human souls to boot.
I said, “Good Morning.”
After a pause and faint gasp, the voice on the other end of the phone
responded with “You sound like God’s receptionist!”
That’s how the conversation with my buddy of 17 years started when I
called this morning on my way to work. He was the first person to hear
my voice the morning after disappearing BEING a failure.
We’ve talked almost every day since 1993 after a year or so of warming
up to one another. Sometimes it’s only five or ten minutes. Aside from
the times when either of us are on vacation, we must have a running
average of at least an hour a day…17 years of hearing my voice. He’s
heard my highs, my lows, my insights and my insanity. In fact, he knows
my voice so well, he can practically tell me what I’ve just eaten, whom
I’ve just spoken with or what I’d been doing from the first words I
speak over the phone. He’s off-the-charts intuitive, insightful and
colorfully articulate. He has me at hello.
The morning after the third weekend, after only “Good morning,” he heard
a new calm, a new peace, a new level of confidence and power that
inspired “You sound like God’s receptionist!” He likes to describe
things. Just in “Good Morning” he claims to have heard an “absence of
jibber jabber”. He’s the kind of person who hates when someone answers
“Fine” and hates more people who idly ask “How are you?” without
genuine interest.
Whatever we did this weekend caused how I occurred for him, down to the
timber and tone of my voice to shift.
That’s pretty doggone huge. I had asked several of you if you could
take my assisting agreement this evening. I have a scheduling conflict.
The conflict left me up-in-the-air and I was starting to be in this
space where there is confusion, anxiety and failure. Sometime last
night, things got clear. What I have is a prior commitment and a new
commitment. Being only one body, I’ll only be able to do one. There’s
no being failure. There’s only failure to be at one of the two places.
There was nothing left to do except perform. In this case performance
shows up as either successfully finding someone who will switch
agreements this week or making alternative arrangements for the new
commitment. I'm one person with demands to be in two places. There’s no confusion. I won't be at one or the other. A breakdown in performance.
That was last night.
This morning I sound like the kind of being who could handle the
incoming calls of angels, archangels, saints, spirits and human souls to boot.
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